Ungratefulness is Not a Good Look

When someone does something for you, you should have the decency to thank him or her. Now, you don’t have to thank people everyday for something they have done for you, but you should be eternally grateful for what they have done for you. When someone has helped you to get to the mountaintop, don’t look at them while you’re on the mountaintop like “who are you?” Reality check: This is the same person who was on the mountaintop before he or she threw you a rope to help you get on the mountaintop. Don’t ever forget this!

You can be on the mountaintop today and in the dark abyss tomorrow. You better start appreciating those people who have demonstrated nothing but a willing to help you. When someone who has proven to be a person who can and will help you, don’t get an attitude with him or her the moment he or she is unable to assist you. To get an attitude with someone who has proven time and time again to be a selfless giver to you, this manifests your true ungratefulness. Ungratefulness has its provenance in selfishness. You may be able to call me many things, but ungrateful is one thing that you cannot truthfully call me.

In no way am I asserting that you need to become a slave to the people who help you. You shouldn’t be a slave for any person! What you should be is an appreciative person who acknowledges the things that others have done and do for you. People often don’t take the time to reflect on how much others are helping them. They simply take for granted the help that others are constantly providing them. I encourage you to never take for granted the help that people give you. What are you going to do when you no longer receive the help that you so desperately need to continue to receive? You can sit back and act like you will survive without it. You probably will survive without their help but you certainly will be significantly impacted by this loss of help over time.

Those who give to others should not hold their generosity over the heads of others either. If you are going to be a true giver, don’t look for people to have a banquet in your honor each time you evince your selflessness. It’s more than reasonable for you to expect a simple thank you each time that you do something for others, however. You are well within reason to expect people to show gratitude for the things you do for them. Just don’t be the type of person who uses his or her abilities as ways to make people do what you want them to do. Moreover, I encourage you to not be the type of person who constantly reminds people of everything you have done and do for them. When you do this, it comes across as you have done and do those things for them for sheer recognition. You can be selfish in the way in which you give too—acknowledge that!

It’s just right to do right!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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10 comments

  1. My mother used to call me ‘ungrateful’ but I think she would just get upset when I wouldn’t jump for joy for everything. I think spoiled was a better word than ungrateful. I appreciate everything someone does for me. No matter how big or small. Doesn’t really take much to impress me though.

    I’m glad you mentioned how it works both ways. “Just don’t be the type of person who uses his or her abilities as ways to make people do what you want them to do.” It does.

    1. Drew, sometimes parents use the “ungrateful card” just to drown their children with guilt (and shame) to have them to do what they want them to do. Yes, givers do have to be conscious of how they give because that giving can truly be selfishness masked with heavy perfume. I am also very thankful for both small and large acts of generosity extended to me. We do have to exercise some patience with some people who don’t show themselves to be appreciative of our generosity, but there comes a time when patience with some people begins to evolve into self-exploitation and/or pure unadulterated foolishness. Thanks for reading and your response, Drew!

    1. @Pampered Sweet Tooth: Thanks very much! I agree with you very much that there are many more people who need to get some quick and effective enlightenment from this piece. Thanks for sharing this post on Facebook. I appreciate you for reading and your response.

  2. I agree with this post 110%!!

    We must never forget those who helps us when we really need it.

    I’m also gald you touched bases on not being a slave to that person. For years, I was doing just that. I gave that person so much power over me. I had to take it back…and believe it was hard. But after a sit down I explain my fault in the friendship and how things had to change. I assured her on how I appreciated everything she has/did for me.

    Great post!

    1. @sunnydelyte: Thank you so much! I’m glad that everything worked out for you. We have to take the power that people and things have over us back from those people and things. You did it and I’m proud of you. I very much appreciate you for reading and for sharing a response that is so inspiring!

  3. This post was definitely on point!! Kudos on this one! The thing that chafes me even more is someone expecting you should do something and not understanding that you did something out of the kindness of your heart or love for the person

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