The more successful, popular, intelligent, attractive, articulate, athletic, and/or etc. you are, the more people will go to extremes to try to find something on you to use it against you. Even when you are transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, people will still go to extremes to find something on you to attempt to bring you down. I would also like you all to be watchful of even jokes people make about you because jokes are often used as furtive vehicles for viciously attacking a person and/or trying to make the person feel uncomfortable, terrible, and/or degraded. For those of you who are tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, as I am, you don’t have to reveal every single thing to people to continue to feel within yourself that you are still transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism. When you don’t give those who are seeking to critique or evaluate you the information they are so eager to receive, then don’t feel like you are wavering on your tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism nature.
When people attempt to negatively criticize you or attack you for not giving them the information they desire so that they can use it as a potential opportunity to have something on you, I recommend for you to take this as an opportunity to turn their malevolent attempts into opportunities to unnerve them. You can unnerve them by asking them questions about their motivations for seeking the information they are requesting and asking them why it is so important for them to get the information. When you are clear that they have intentional negative motivations for obtaining the information, go ahead and begin to unsettle them with probing observations and critiques about them. Let them know you know they are trying to hate on you.
What people who attempt to gain negative information on people to use the information against these people don’t understand they are wasting their time. When people have earned such a distinguished reputation and record, their reputation and record is difficult to sabotage. I am not suggesting that people seeking to destroy your reputation and record with negative information cannot succeed, but I want to comfort those of you concerned about people using negative information against you that you should not fear them.
While many of the motivations for people wanting to have something on you to use it against you are conspicuous, I will be spending a little time in the future just thinking about more complex motivations they may have. I will let you all know the fruits of my reflections too.
If you are a person who is always seeking to use something against someone, I would like to hear from you to better understand people like you. If you are afraid to place a comment on my blog, then feel free to contact me at email@example.com.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison