Enemies

Overcoming Undercover Enemies

Backstabber

(Photo Credit: Money Matters 101)

Your greatest enemies may not be the folks you think: they may be the people you least think.  It’s vital for you to keep your eyes and ears tuned to what’s going on around you. By doing this, you can become more aware of things that can be transpiring behind your back.  Unfortunately, too many people hang around individuals who they think support them, but behind-the-scenes they’re stabbing them in the back.  Yes, folks will laugh with you on the phone and when you hang out, but that does not mean they really like you. They may be using their ability to stay in close connection with you to plan and execute their evil hidden agendas.

Watch out for those people who are always talking about someone to you; chances are they’re talking about you with someone else.

We often don’t engage in enough careful thought about the people in our lives.  Those people you allow in your lives can be some of the very individuals causing you to experience the most vexing problems.  From my experience with people who have been my undercover enemies, I can tell you that I didn’t take serious the warning signs they might be or become my enemies.  While I placed trust in them and devoted significant time to them, I failed to recognize the impact their selfishness and low self-esteem would have on me.  When you love someone, a natural proclivity to accept all that comes with him or her surfaces.  I Peter 1:8 informs us that “love covers a multitude of sins.”  When you have true love for someone, it will, indeed, cover a multitude of  his or her sins.  What you have to do, however, is not allow your love for people to keep you in a state of blindness.

When people don’t really care for you, they will do some direct and subtle things to you.  It’s your job to look for those direct and subtle things.  The subtle things can be the most challenging to detect, however.  What I have found to be one of the most useful ways to determine if someone close to me or someone I spend a considerable amount of time with is really against me is to have honest conversations with him or her about our relationship.  I’ve learned to ask the following questions and more: What do you like most about me? Why do you enjoy spending time with me?  What do you dislike most about me?  What’s one quality you adore most about the person you admire most?  When you ask the aforementioned questions and more, observe any selfishness you see in the responses and any low self-esteem that could ultimately cause problems in your relationship.  Look for any uneasiness the person has speaking about the relationship you share.

If you talk to a person long enough, he or she will tell you everything.

Again, I’ve had some enemies I was unable to identify, but I’ve provided you with ways to recognize your own undercover enemies.  Although you might not want to hear it, you should watch out everyone; nothing’s wrong with being too careful.  Even your closest friends and family members may allow themselves to be used by the forces of evil.

What do you do now that you’ve identified your undercover enemies?  Don’t let them know you know who they really are.  Discontinue hanging out with them and talking to them on the phone.  Let the relationship die a natural death.  Most of your undercover enemies are arrogant enough to think you’ll never discover who they really are, and they will think they hold a certain power over you with this “secret knowledge.”  You will, however, be the one with the real knowledge and power.  You will have removed their disguises and they will not even know it, and you will have the power to turn their evil plans upside down—they’ll never see it coming!

What are some of the problems you struggle with?  Share those problems with me.  We may be able to arrive at some solutions together.  It’s a good thing to converse with people who are genuinely committed to helping you solve your problems.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Pushing People to the Breaking Point

Enemy Blood

Have you ever had a person who you’ve tried not to annihilate but he or she just will not stop attacking you?  There comes a point when people reach their breaking point with those who refuse to stop attacking them.  At some point, the person who is being attacked would like to think that his or her attackers would discontinue personal attacks.  Unfortunately, it’s often the case that one’s attackers will not stop.  Even the nicest person has a breaking point.  The breaking point is a point when those who have been attacked repeatedly are finally fed up with being assaulted in some way(s).

For those who are being attacked by others, I recommend that you try not to do things that will land you in jail or prison.  I do, however, understand if a person has caused you to think about doing something that could possibly put in you in jail or prison.  You shouldn’t allow a person to continue to assault you in any way.  Don’t even let someone repeatedly verbally assault you.  Whenever you discover someone is talking about you behind your back you need to address that person.  You shouldn’t think that what someone is saying about you isn’t going to have an impact on you, especially if the person is attempting to build a false narrative about you that could potentially damage your reputation.  Your reputation is one of the most valuable assets you have—protect it!

Although people will try to tell you to “overlook what others say about you” and “be the better person,” I’ve found these well-intentioned comments to be potentially harmful.  Act responsibly in defending yourself against attacks, but do what’s necessary to end these attacks and expose the credibility of the person attacking you.  For your attackers who are simply running their mouths, writing about you, and/or using social media to send indirect messages about you, don’t forget you have the ability to use those same tactics.  One powerful way to stop a coward who attacks you behind your back and/or through indirect social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and etc.) messages is to expose him or her!  Publicly promulgate things about the person that will shut him or her up forever.

While what I’ve said may not be exactly how the bible would inform you to handle your attackers, I will recommend that you give them as many warnings as necessary before you truly expose them.  The bible does teach us to warn before destruction.

Psalm 37:15: “Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.”  Let this article serve as a warning to those who recklessly attack people that you’re going to inevitably face destruction if you don’t stop doing the things you’re doing.  It’s not about the person being afraid of you or not being mentally, emotionally, and/or physically strong enough to deal with what you say about him or her; it’s more about the person simply being exhausted with what you’re saying, especially when he or she knows that you can be annihilated using one or more of the same tactics you’re employing.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Be Careful about the Enemies You Intentionally Choose

Fighting

(Photo Credit: therepublika.com)

Although it would be great to live in a world where we don’t have any enemies, the reality is we all have enemies.  Most people don’t choose their enemies.  Some people elect to make individuals their enemies.  If you intentionally work to develop an enemy, you better make sure you can completely handle that enemy.  This can be the person who ruins your life forever.  It’s quite foolish to actively seek a person to become your enemy.  Most people work tremendously hard to keep people from being their enemies and avoid those who are their enemies.  While it may sound strange for an individual to want someone to be his or her enemy, this happens more often than one may think. 

When this does happen, the person who desires for a specific individual to be his or her enemy thinks he or she really knows the targeted individual.  Once the person learns that you’re trying to start a feud with him or her, the individual will probably not employ tactics you anticipate.  The person will probably adopt a strategy or strategies to respond to your attacks that will surprise you.  Will you be ready for the surprises your newly desired enemy has for you? 

Don’t start a war that you cannot win!

People’s egos, arrogance, poor judgment, emotions, low self-esteem, unhappiness, and etc. often cause them to begin fights they cannot win.  This is why it’s vital to take a serious moment and deeply reflect on things before you make drastic errors.  A moment of irrationality can cause you a lifetime of pain.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Key to Failure: Secret Enemies

Frenemies

Watch your back sucka!

Make sure everyone you choose to be on your team is really committed to you.  Don’t let someone who appears to take sides with you and/or who seems to be friendly with you be on your team.  You must go beyond mere appearances—you must know whether someone truly deserves to be on your team in this game of life.  Too many people lose in the game of life because they have decided to put people on their team who are not true comrades.  You’re going to face situations in your life where you’re going to need only those who are truly your friends.

You can lose battles you confront in your life when you allow those who are secretly your enemies to be on your team.  The people you allow on your team can be the very people who are secretly defeating you.  While it’s okay to be friendly to people, this does not mean you should include all of these people on your team.  You have a choice about the individuals you select to be on your team.  Therefore, you have to take responsibility for the decisions you make in the formation of your team.

Your enemies will send people to join your team and disguise them as people who support you and who want to be your friend.  When you’re facing great battles, you need to think about the people who have always been there for you—the ones you’ve always been able to count on delivering for you.  Those are the people who you need to have on your team.  For those “friends” who have been lukewarm towards you throughout your “friendship,” then you need to discard them immediately.  Unfortunately, many people are unwilling to muster the courage to rid themselves of those who are truly undeserving of being on their team.  A failure to remove these folks from your team guarantees your failure.

If we’re to build winning teams, we have to make sure we have the right people on our teams.

People who are constantly a burden for you are not the right members to have on your team.  Individuals who take your focus off of what’s important are not the right members to have on your team.  If you have individuals on your team who are always begging for something, those individuals should be removed from your team immediately.  You need to have people on your team who can genuinely contribute something to the team.

Individuals who lack a true understanding of the team concept need to be eliminated from your team.  On a team, you don’t need someone who is only going to be thinking about himself or herself.  If you have people on your team who use “I” all of the time or most of the time, then you need to remove those people from your team.  If you have people who never want the conversation to focus on you much, then you need to eliminate those individuals immediately.  Additionally, if you have people on your team who think your problems and concerns are not as important as their problems and concerns, then eliminate them from your team as soon as possible.

If you think a conversation is boring unless it’s about you, then you’re not worthy of being on anyone’s team.

Try to identify those individuals on your team who are only interested in the perks of being on and associated with your team.  Don’t be afraid to let former team members know why you severed ties with them—your explanation can be just what they need to become better people.

Don’t let anyone keep you from winning the battles and wars you are facing and will confront! You must remember that your greatest enemies may be the individuals you call your “friends.”  Your “friends” may be the ingredients in your life and on your team causing you to experience failure.  Without question, you must discover those secret enemies who need to be removed from your team.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Read the Expiration Date: Some Friendships Need to End

Have you ever just become so exhausted with a friendship that you have to keep wondering why you are torturing yourself by remaining friends?  If you are constantly having more unpleasant days in a friendship than positive days, then you need to consider allowing that friendship to end.  Although all friendships will experience some conflicts, you should not have to have a serious battle with your friends every month.  When you have to go to war with your friends every month, then you have all of the evidence you need to end this friendship.  Seriously, why waste your time dealing with these too frequent burdens that your friends cause for you?  If people are truly your friends, you’re going to gain more positive things from them than negative things.

When we give someone the title of “friend,” it seems like many of us begin to allow an individual to take advantage of us because we idolize the title too much instead of truly assessing the relationship with the person we have given the title.  It does not matter how long or short a period of time you have been friends with a person he or she is not too great for you to not engage in a meaningful evaluation of his or her worth in your life.  While it may seem easier to get rid of those friends you have known only a short period of time, it can be much more of a challenge for you to terminate friendships with people you have known longer.  The truth is you just have to accept the reality that some friendships you have maintained for a long period of time might need to end for your (and their) benefit.

Although everyone needs a friend, you should not allow a friend to cause you constant pain.  When a friend becomes more of a burden than a help for you, then you know that this person is no longer your friend.

If a person is truly your friend, you will be able to value his or her words.  A true friend will not tell you lies just to get what he or she wants.  A true friend is not deceitful.  We have to learn that we cannot call everyone a friend.  Moreover, we have to learn that we cannot keep maintaining old friendships that have really become burdens.  When we try to avoid the truth about friendships that have turned into burdens, then we can overlook those friends who have really become our enemies.

Don’t let anyone take advantage of you.  We are most vulnerable to being taken advantage of by those we call our friends.  It is important for you to know that those who you call your friends can take advantage of you just like anyone else can.  While this reality can be quite hurtful, this is the reason why we have to begin to engage in close assessments of our friendships and eliminate those friendships that are not producing positive benefits for us.

Please don’t allow the fact that you have been in a long friendship with someone to keep you from letting the friendship expire.  You must face the truth that some long friendships need to be terminated because over the years things and people change, leading to those friendships not being based on what they originally were founded on.  When you are conducting your close evaluation of your current friendships, think about the things that developed those friendships.  Are those things still there or have they changed in some substantive way?  By seriously wrestling with this question in your assessment of your friendships, you may realize that the reason that your friendships no longer seem like friendships is the things that started those friendships are no longer present or have changed in such a significant way.

Would you continue to take medicine for an illness that your doctor has informed you that you no longer have?  Of course, you would not.  Well, why continue friendships that no longer maintain the original things they were founded on?

Do you have friends that ask you to do something for them always but when you ask them to do something for you they always have an excuse about why they cannot do what you asked?  You may have never considered this before, but these kinds of friends can lead you to having real health problems.  These kinds of friends can consume too much of your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental energy.  It is not selfish to ask and expect your friends to do what you ask of them from time to time, especially those friends who always ask you to do something for them and you always do it for them.

Make a wise decision for yourself today and end those friendships that are not good for you.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Crush Your Lightweights

When you’re a heavyweight, you should never get derailed by a lightweight. A heavyweight is a person who has the courage to truly be himself or herself, has the courage to live life without limits, and is a true star. A lightweight is a person who masquerades daily, refuses to truly be himself or herself, tries to destroy heavyweights because envy and jealousy consumes him or her, is always looking for something to attack heavyweights about, lives in darkness but loves to pretend like he or she exemplifies light, and is simply not worthy enough to hold your jockstrap or remove your panty liner. Although you cannot let lightweights distract you, you cannot simply let them keep attacking you either. Eventually, you just have to crush the lightweights that are always running their mouths, always attacking you, always up to no good, and always trying to do undercover things to try to misrepresent or portray you in a way that tries to take away from your greatness so that they can go from invisible to visible. Use your power as a heavyweight to crush them.

I’m not in any way encouraging you to kill anyone. You don’t have to be violent to crush your lightweight enemies. Simply expose them! Do some of the same things they do to show them how it’s done.  Show them your true power. Crush them! Focus on their weaknesses and crush them! You can underestimate your lightweight enemies if you want to. Over time, your lightweight enemies can begin to cause you serious trouble. Therefore, just as when you first begin to see some roaches in your house, you immediately use all things available to you to exterminate them before they metastasize into an unmanageable problem. You have to stop your lightweight enemies in their tracks before they even begin to get going good. Don’t be so arrogant that you think that your enemies cannot have some impact on you. Again, crush them!

You simply got to love yourself enough to go to war for yourself. I try not to punch first but I don’t mind counterpunching (metaphorically speaking).

Again, use their weaknesses to get them off of you for good. Yes, you have weaknesses but, as a heavyweight, you are not seriously harmed by them trying to retaliate against you by attempting to exploit your weaknesses. You can take out your lightweight enemies if you are willing to fully expose at least one of their weaknesses. When you do this, your lightweight enemies are gone for good.

Don’t forget the aforementioned definition of a lightweight. A lightweight’s greatest weakness and greatest fear is being exposed. Expose your lightweight enemies in the many ways that you can and you will not have to deal with them.

As heavyweight, I know that you would just wish that people would not try to attack you, but you cannot simply “wish” and “hope” them away—you have to become the aggressor and let them feel your power. When they feel your power, they will no longer be in your way.  Don’t simply let your enemies be at war with you while you just sit up there looking stupid. You can sit up there and act like you are so above counterpunching—your enemies will inevitably knock you down for the count if you don’t respond to them in a timely manner.

I’ve got five rocks and I’ve not thrown one yet! Sometimes you just gotta fight!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

People Always Want to Have Something on You

The more successful, popular, intelligent, attractive, articulate, athletic, and/or etc. you are, the more people will go to extremes to try to find something on you to use it against you. Even when you are transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, people will still go to extremes to find something on you to attempt to bring you down. I would also like you all to be watchful of even jokes people make about you because jokes are often used as furtive vehicles for viciously attacking a person and/or trying to make the person feel uncomfortable, terrible, and/or degraded. For those of you who are tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, as I am, you don’t have to reveal every single thing to people to continue to feel within yourself that you are still transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism. When you don’t give those who are seeking to critique or evaluate you the information they are so eager to receive, then don’t feel like you are wavering on your tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism nature.

When people attempt to negatively criticize you or attack you for not giving them the information they desire so that they can use it as a potential opportunity to have something on you, I recommend for you to take this as an opportunity to turn their malevolent attempts into opportunities to unnerve them. You can unnerve them by asking them questions about their motivations for seeking the information they are requesting and asking them why it is so important for them to get the information. When you are clear that they have intentional negative motivations for obtaining the information, go ahead and begin to unsettle them with probing observations and critiques about them. Let them know you know they are trying to hate on you.

What people who attempt to gain negative information on people to use the information against these people don’t understand they are wasting their time. When people have earned such a distinguished reputation and record, their reputation and record is difficult to sabotage. I am not suggesting that people seeking to destroy your reputation and record with negative information cannot succeed, but I want to comfort those of you concerned about people using negative information against you that you should not fear them.

While many of the motivations for people wanting to have something on you to use it against you are conspicuous, I will be spending a little time in the future just thinking about more complex motivations they may have. I will let you all know the fruits of my reflections too.

If you are a person who is always seeking to use something against someone, I would like to hear from you to better understand people like you. If you are afraid to place a comment on my blog, then feel free to contact me at antoniomdaniels@gmail.com.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison