Happy birthday to one of my best friends, Dr. Santresa Lolita Glass! Yes, I wrote your whole name. And, if you don’t like it, I can revise the previous sentence to include your other names, names that are more apt fits: stalker, for example. Just let me know. On to even more important things, though, I want you to have an excellent birthday; one that is filled with joy, relaxation and peace. With such a great heart, you deserve only the best. Unfortunately, that great heart will never make me desire you—don’t get it twisted sweetie. (I know how much you despise being called “sweetie,” especially from a certain group of people, but that’s another story.)

For the remainder of the year, just breathe, just live.

I’m so fortunate to have you as a best friend. When a person is loved by you, he or she is blessed with authentic love. You love your friends and family genuinely—not for what they can give you or do for you. Always know that your life has tremendous value; it touches, affects and makes the difference for numerous people.

You matter. What you do matters. What you say matters. What you think matters.

Too often, people take for granted the ability to be a true friend. This ability is a gift from Jesus. Having a real friend is a gift from God, and being able to be a real friend is a gift from God. No matter what anyone says, know that you possess the gift of friendship—in both forms.

As I continue to live this wonderful life in Christ Jesus, I learn that the untrustworthy and selfish people in my life will inevitably be exposed. Just recently, I discovered someone I long supported, devoted time and energy to, and loved demonstrated pure selfishness and deceit. With you, San, I never have to concern myself with such foolishness. You’re never thinking about how you can take advantage of someone to fulfill your selfish longings.

Thank you for being a giver. Thank you for being kind. Thank you for being selfless. Thank you for being my friend.

Well, I’ve wasted enough of my day on you—valuable time that I’ll never be able to redeem. You’re not that special to consume so much of my time. Duh!

Understand that I’ll never want you—no matter how many creative advances you try to make—I’ll never desire you. You’re simply obsessed with me and, at this point, it has become really pathetic.

Anyway, have the best birthday ever and know that I love you—not like you want—but with the love one of the best friends in the world deserves!

P.S. Although I will not have time today to give you a live concert, just know in the days to come you will be blessed with the gift of mellifluous, yoke-destroying, harmonious, and chart-topping song.

Love ya,

Dr. Antonio Maurice Daniels (your wildest fantasy)

University of Wisconsin-Madison