Do you know people who don’t call you until they want something? Do you know people who don’t even want to have anything to do with you until they want something? If your answer to one or both of the aforementioned queries is yes, then you know people like this can become burdensome and exhausting really fast. You don’t have to tolerate those individuals anymore. All you need to do is treat them like they treat you and they will flee from you.
One excuse folks like this will use when you call them out on this issue is “I stay so busy.” However, when they need something from you, they’re able to find all of the time in the world to talk to you. “I stay so busy” is simply a lie. This is language people employ to attempt to camouflage the fact that they only care about what you can do for them and don’t have the slightest concern about you. When these folks don’t need you, you’re nothing more than an afterthought and footnote. You need to know that people like this are only using you or attempting to use you.
You may be busy but you’re not “so busy” that you cannot take a few minutes to call someone you always call when you want something
People who call you only when they need something should be more honest and transparent. Are you afraid to let people know you’re only interested in them for what they can do for you? Stop telling lies about being “so busy” all the time. You can find the time to call someone just to say hello or check on them on your way to work or to the store. Even if you let a person know you don’t have but a few minutes to talk, this will show them you’re interested in them more than just for what they can do for you. It would seem like you would have enough sense to call folks enough so that it does not seem like you’re just using them, even if it’s really your intention to use them.
When people who only call you when they want something call you or text you, stop returning their calls and text messages. Shut down all communication with them. You have to do something to let them know you’re not going to accept this type of behavior from them. If you continue to allow this type of behavior to occur, then you have to take just as much responsibility as they do. People will do as much as you allow them.
Don’t feel guilty when you end all communication with people who call you only when they want something. You have nothing to feel guilty about, considering they’re the individuals responsible for this termination of communication.
If you’ve never given it much thought about when people call you, I encourage you to begin to observe when people call you. You need to begin to seriously observe if people are calling only when they want something. Eliminate these individuals from your life and you will see how much you ameliorate your life.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Another great post from you! I unfortunately had a best friend (now an associate) that would win an Olympic Gold Medal in ”calling when you want something”. The moment I cut him off from our social outings (just hanging out), cooking just because, and awkward intimate platonic settings, he played victim. There is no excuse for a person deemed a ”best friend” not to converse a couple of days a week or at least once, just to say hello. Thanks for sharing with us and as always I look forward to the next post that you pen.
Thank you! Wow! It’s truly unfortunate that this transpired between you and your best friend. I cannot understand why he would allow himself to fall from being your best friend to being just an associate. You’re right — there’s no reason for best friends not to be communicating with one another at least a couple of times a week. Thanks for reading and your response!
Antonio, did you write this for my little brother? That negro only calls or texts for money or a handout like every other month. Hate to put a family on the ignore list but you know how it is. Great article, I’ll be sharing it.
Lol! Thanks man! Sometimes we have to call out even our family members and close friends. It’s all for their improvement. Calling or sending texts to you only when money or a handout is being requested is not a good look. I think you should really let him know this type of behavior is unacceptable. Thanks for reading and your response!
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Thank you and thank you for reading!
Thank you for writing this article.Been not knowing what to do when my son does this to me.
And often.Thanks for the advice.
I’m glad that this article was helpful. Thank you for reading and your response!