Do you know people who don’t call you until they want something? Do you know people who don’t even want to have anything to do with you until they want something? If your answer to one or both of the aforementioned queries is yes, then you know people like this can become burdensome and exhausting really fast. You don’t have to tolerate those individuals anymore. All you need to do is treat them like they treat you and they will flee from you.
One excuse folks like this will use when you call them out on this issue is “I stay so busy.” However, when they need something from you, they’re able to find all of the time in the world to talk to you. “I stay so busy” is simply a lie. This is language people employ to attempt to camouflage the fact that they only care about what you can do for them and don’t have the slightest concern about you. When these folks don’t need you, you’re nothing more than an afterthought and footnote. You need to know that people like this are only using you or attempting to use you.
You may be busy but you’re not “so busy” that you cannot take a few minutes to call someone you always call when you want something
People who call you only when they need something should be more honest and transparent. Are you afraid to let people know you’re only interested in them for what they can do for you? Stop telling lies about being “so busy” all the time. You can find the time to call someone just to say hello or check on them on your way to work or to the store. Even if you let a person know you don’t have but a few minutes to talk, this will show them you’re interested in them more than just for what they can do for you. It would seem like you would have enough sense to call folks enough so that it does not seem like you’re just using them, even if it’s really your intention to use them.
When people who only call you when they want something call you or text you, stop returning their calls and text messages. Shut down all communication with them. You have to do something to let them know you’re not going to accept this type of behavior from them. If you continue to allow this type of behavior to occur, then you have to take just as much responsibility as they do. People will do as much as you allow them.
Don’t feel guilty when you end all communication with people who call you only when they want something. You have nothing to feel guilty about, considering they’re the individuals responsible for this termination of communication.
If you’ve never given it much thought about when people call you, I encourage you to begin to observe when people call you. You need to begin to seriously observe if people are calling only when they want something. Eliminate these individuals from your life and you will see how much you ameliorate your life.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison