Mistreatment

You Don’t Call Until You Want Something

Black Man Yelling

Stop calling me only when you want something!

Do you know people who don’t call you until they want something?  Do you know people who don’t even want to have anything to do with you until they want something?  If your answer to one or both of the aforementioned queries is yes, then you know people like this can become burdensome and exhausting really fast.  You don’t have to tolerate those individuals anymore.  All you need to do is treat them like they treat you and they will flee from you.

One excuse folks like this will use when you call them out on this issue is “I stay so busy.”  However, when they need something from you, they’re able to find all of the time in the world to talk to you.  “I stay so busy” is simply a lie.  This is language people employ to attempt to camouflage the fact that they only care about what you can do for them and don’t have the slightest concern about you.  When these folks don’t need you, you’re nothing more than an afterthought and footnote.  You need to know that people like this are only using you or attempting to use you.

You may be busy but you’re not “so busy” that you cannot take a few minutes to call someone you always call when you want something

People who call you only when they need something should be more honest and transparent.  Are you afraid to let people know you’re only interested in them for what they can do for you?  Stop telling lies about being “so busy” all the time.  You can find the time to call someone just to say hello or check on them on your way to work or to the store.  Even if you let a person know you don’t have but a few minutes to talk, this will show them you’re interested in them more than just for what they can do for you.  It would seem like you would have enough sense to call folks enough so that it does not seem like you’re just using them, even if it’s really your intention to use them.

When people who only call you when they want something call you or text you, stop returning their calls and text messages.  Shut down all communication with them.  You have to do something to let them know you’re not going to accept this type of behavior from them.  If you continue to allow this type of behavior to occur, then you have to take just as much responsibility as they do.  People will do as much as you allow them.

Don’t feel guilty when you end all communication with people who call you only when they want something.  You have nothing to feel guilty about, considering they’re the individuals responsible for this termination of communication.

If you’ve never given it much thought about when people call you, I encourage you to begin to observe when people call you.  You need to begin to seriously observe if people are calling only when they want something.  Eliminate these individuals from your life and you will see how much you ameliorate your life.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Spring Clean Some Human Beings Right Out of Your Life

As I approach 30 years of life, it really just hit me: I’m responsible for how I continue to allow people to treat me. There comes a point when you have to get fed up with the things that people do to you. It’s only when you acknowledge that enough is enough that you will truly reclaim full dominion over your life. At the very minimum, you must demand people to treat you with basic respect. If people are not willing to treat you with respect, then take a stand against them. Cast those who are not willing to respect you out of your life. Do it right now! I had to come to the realization that if people are not going to do anything else they are going to respect me. I have recognized that I have the power to not allow disrespectful people to occupy space in my life. As long as you accept disrespectful people in your life, you need to own full responsibility for their treatment of you. It’s not their fault—it’s your fault. You keep allowing it so go ahead and own what you are doing to yourself.

Many of the people in our lives are disposable, but we keep them around like they are necessities. In essence, many people are optional but we let them stay around us like we don’t have a choice. When they keep mistreating and disrespecting you, look right in the mirror at the person who should be held completely responsible for this mistreatment and disrespect. You begin to press yourself smaller and smaller when you give people the constant authority to devalue you. Your mother and father did not conceive you to sit up there and let people persist to push you around and do you any way they want. You have the power right now to stop this from happening.

What’s really sad is many of us are not able to even understand when people are constantly disrespecting and mistreating us. We have allowed disrespect and mistreatment to become such the norm in our lives that we don’t see them as needing to be eradicated from our lives. Open your eyes and see what’s really going on around you. You deserve to be valued. The things that are important to you deserve to be respected.

I want you to think critically about the people in your life and give them a comprehensive evaluation. Are there any people who really do not value you as a person? Are there people who do not value your education, business, responsibilities, time, and/or etc.? Are there people who don’t show you appreciation for the things you do for them? Are there people who don’t evince their gratitude to you? If you have people like this in your life, then you need to dismiss them right now. It really is that simple when you truly love yourself.

Are you in a “serious” relationship with a person who only values you for the sexual intercourse? If so, eliminate this person from your life. Do you have “friends” who only come around you when they want something? Cast these people out of your life! Are there people in your life who only want to talk to you about themselves all the time and everything is always about them? Get rid of them right now.

We need to start appreciating and valuing ourselves more. Love yourself enough to get rid of the people in your life who are not good for you. The right time for some Spring cleaning is right now. Get busy!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison