Mental Health

Own Your Frustrations

Don’t take your frustrations out on others.  If there are specific people causing you to be frustrated, then direct your anger toward those individuals—not everyone else.  You have to learn how to take control of your emotions.  Your emotions are your emotions.  Don’t force everyone around you to have to deal with your problems.  When you’re having an unpleasant day, you shouldn’t try to make everybody else have an unpleasant day.  We can learn a significant amount about ourselves when we begin to think critically about how we handle being frustrated.  Just because you’re frustrated doesn’t give you valid justification to make drastic decisions.  When many people get frustrated, they start to acting like it’s the end of the world.

You have to understand that things are not going to go well for you every day.  If you’re an adult and claim to be mature, then you shouldn’t have to be told that everything is not always going to go well for you.

It’s okay to be frustrated from time to time—being frustrated is a normal part of the human experience.  You shouldn’t be frustrated all of the time, however.  If you’re frustrated all of the time, then you need to seek professional mental health treatment.  People should not shy away from getting mental health treatment.  One of the fundamental purposes of mental health treatment is to empower you with the ability to be in more control of yourself.

Don’t allow a frustrating day to become a serious crisis.  You have to understand that some things will happen and you will need to move on from those things.  Sitting around having a pity party is not going to change anything about your frustrations—it will only make things worse.  It’s very unattractive for you to resort to the most extreme measures when you’re going through frustrating moments.  People will begin to think that it’s best for them to not be around you.  You don’t want people to isolate themselves from you simply because you fly off the handle every time you’re frustrated.

Learn how to handle your problems responsibly.  If you need assistance with conflict resolution, please seek professional assistance.  You may even find it useful to speak with mature and successful people around you who can give you counseling about how to better deal with conflicts in your life.  If you’re always overreacting to problems you have in your life, then there’s something truly wrong with you mentally.  It’s okay to admit that you have mental problems.  By admitting that you have mental problems, you can get the help you need to address those problems.

Again, we all have been frustrated before.  Of course, we all would love to never experience frustration.  However, we know that we can never eliminate experiencing frustration.  How we respond to frustration is much more important than being frustrated.  Acting responsibly and maturely when you’re frustrated can help you to develop into a better person and allow you to discover things about yourself you didn’t even know.

Make every effort to stay in control of your emotions. Stop overacting.  Live responsibly.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Look Inward Before You Look Outward

We cannot be a help to others until we are a help to ourselves first. Far too often, broken people who need healing themselves are the main ones who like to criticize others and like to appear like they exude strength—when it’s really their weakness that radiates brightest. You cannot lead until you lead within yourself first. You cannot criticize until you have engaged in a comprehensive self-critique first. Never try to seem like you have made it to the mountaintop on your own, especially when you know that your ride to the mountaintop has been made possible by those who have assisted you.

Your critiques of others need to come from a spirit of compassion, while still maintaining a commitment to truth. Always make sure that what you have to say is guided by a desire to promote uplift. I am not contending that uplift has to always come from the most polite words and actions—uplift does not always come from polite words and actions—but your words and actions should have the purpose of moving people upward.

Don’t overlook your weaknesses and flaws when you are critiquing others. Your weaknesses and flaws can be the very sources of the problem with how you are critiquing others.

Guard the way that you perceive others with great care. The way you perceive others can simply be a product of how you view yourself. People are different so you have to understand that you cannot impose your values, paradigms, and expectations for yourself on others. This is what makes the world such a beauty place to live. We all do things and view things differently—We are simply different! Although we are all different in many ways, we are all united by the reality that we are human. We must never underestimate the power of what being human can do for us and the limitations of what being human means.

I’m all for people judging others—have at it! I just want people to make sure that they have engaged in close examinations of themselves first. When you have an honest evaluation of yourself first, you will offer yourself an opportunity to see why you say the things you say to others, why you view people the way you do, why you question them the way you, and why you think what they are doing is wrong or right.

Spend some time with yourself. Learn yourself more. Learn how you might have to move beyond the limitations of yourself to understand others and to understand why they don’t do and say the things you do. Take a moment to rise above what you would have them to do and say and embrace the value of what it is they do and say.

The only way that you are going to get some of those inner problems and demons that you battle is to allow yourself to undergo a serious comprehensive self-critique. Always ground your serious self-critiques in truth. Be willing to acknowledge and embrace the lessons that you learn from self-critiques that are truly grounded in truth.

Love yourself for who you are. If other people don’t love you for simply who you are, then get away from them because they don’t matter.

Even though you don’t have to share everything with everybody to be a real person and an open book, I recommend that you be more transparent with people about why you are revealing what you do disclose to them. The reason why I recommend this is it helps clear thinking people to comprehend that there could be a vital personal reason involving your safety that is responsible for why you don’t divulge everything down to the most microscopic detail to them.

When we look inward first and not outward first, then we will begin to gain a better understanding about why things may appear the way they do. Inward evaluations bring us to an understanding of physical, social, and emotional realities that we never might have considered and discovered without true and comprehensive self-examinations.

By looking within before you look outward, you might just find what you have been missing all of your life. You might just find the answers to what you have been searching for all this time. You might even begin to muster the courage to simply be yourself.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Gucci Mane Gone Wild

What in the world is going on with Gucci Mane with this ice cream cone tattoo on his face? Lawd, Gucci has gone crazy! No, Lawd, not Gucci! Seriously, though, we need to surround this young man with love because he’s obviously experiencing some serious mental health problems. Although many rappers and other Hip-Hop artists cause themselves to face great troubles, this does not mean that they do not deserve to get our love, support, and best wishes. I hope that Gucci Mane will defeat the demons that he is fighting. What Black man do you know has a tattoo of an ice cream cone on his face? To me, the tattoo looks more like a penis. Now, of course, rappers and others (if they already have not) are going to start joking on Gucci Mane about this tattoo, especially making homosexual remarks about him. Honestly, though, what Black homosexual is going to get this type of tattoo on his face? Well, none that I know. I want to use the popular discourse about Gucci Mane’s tattoo on his face as a window of opportunity to talk about how we have to be more serious about mental health in the Black community.

America has not made serious investments in mental health. When Black people across the nation have experienced such horrific tragedies and impossible conditions, it’s crucial for our community to have access to the economic, psychological, and health resources needed to address critical mental health problems.

Instead of so many Black churches simply negatively criticizing and preaching about Hip-Hop music being the Devil’s music, they need to get out on the streets and welcome these Black rappers and Hip-Hop artists into their churches. These artists need to know that someone loves them and are willing to help them through whatever they are going through. Black churches can play such a greater role in aiding these Black Hip-Hop artists to overcome the psychic demons they battle. This, of course, will require many Black church leaders to lose their elitism and do the real mission of Christ: go out and save a people who are lost and/or simply need love and support.

Black men have historically had problems with using mental health services and getting mental health treatment. In the postmodern period, I think that the core reason why Black men are so reluctant to use mental health services has to do with maintaining the notion of being a “strong Black man.” Well, there’s nothing strong about staying crazy when you can overcome your poor mental health by reaching out for mental health support. There’s nothing masculine about denying the reality that you need help. You can still be masculine and receive mental health treatment. You need to know that it’s okay to go and get some counseling. We all need someone to talk to about our problems. We are all struggling with something, so it should not be a big deal for you to go and talk out your problems with someone. Even if you don’t go and get counseling from a licensed professional, make sure you muster enough courage to talk with someone who you know and trust to hammer out your problems with. This person just might give you the inspiration and advice you need to defeat your struggles.

So, yes, it’s funny at first to see this tattoo on Gucci Mane’s face but we’ve got to look beyond the surface and see that he and so many others are fighting great psychic demons, and we need to be there to help these people. Fortunately, Gucci Mane has the money to get the help he needs but so many others don’t. We need to pull together as a community and be willing to listen and talk to people. You will be amazed at what listening and talking to a person can do to change their lives. Be there for someone and someone will be there for you on the day you need him or her most!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Don’t Be All Style and Show and Have No Substance

Black Male Fashion

For all who know me well and those who have followed Revolutionary Paideia, you know I really don’t care too much for vain people. Too many people are all about being flashy in appearance and style, but lack true substance emotionally, intellectually, physically, professionally, and socially. It’s all about image for these people.  They are too consumed with the spectacle (see Guy Debord’s The Society of the Spectacle to gain an even better understanding of what I’m saying).  While the spectacle may be entertaining and give you some instant gratification, the entertainment and gratification is ephemeral. Some of you try to act like you are so confident, act like you have it all together, act like you are a trendsetter, act like you are rich, and pretend like you are so attractive. When you are alone, however, you get an opportunity to reflect on just how unhappy you are and the reality of your low self-esteem or self-esteem problems rise to the surface. I constantly advocate for people to be themselves and not fusions of multiple people and identities.

In no way am I saying that having swag is not useful—it’s useful! You just have to know how to have more than just swag. Make sure that your swag is real too and not just a false image you are presenting. If you know that you don’t have the type of clothing in your closet you are claiming you have, then don’t lie about it. If you know you don’t have the money to wear the type of clothes, drive the type of car, live in the type of house, attend the type of school, and eat at the type of restaurants you do or claim, then just be comfortable in your spirit with what is within your means until you are able to afford those things. Don’t commodify and reify yourself. Some people have metaphorically turned themselves into things instead of the human beings they are. Resist embracing the image and favor substance.

When you have substance, you will find that you don’t need all of that attention you are seeking. You will find that attention will just naturally come to you. You will find that you will not have to let people know things about you and what you have—they will just know.

Some people want to be all that but they are not willing to do the work to be all that. If you are not willing to do the work necessary to be all that, then realize that being all that is not for you. Place your values in substance. Substance will fulfill, sustain, empower, comfort, and reward you.

At the end of the day, you simply have to love yourself. Love just being yourself. There’s absolutely no one like you, so you should be happy and fulfilled by this reality. When you realize that being yourself is already swag, style, and show, then you will be able to convert your swag, style, and show into substance. Don’t rob yourself of substance and don’t allow others and society to rob you of substance.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Passionately Advocate for Someone Besides Yourself

At some point, you should understand that it is important to be a passionate advocate for someone besides yourself. I have found that most of the people in my life only advocate for themselves, including family and friends—even those friends who claim to be so close to me! Most of the people in my life would not be where they are today without me—period! On the rare occasions I need something from the people in my life, I never receive close to the support I provide for them. Although I am a truly controversial figure, this does not mean that you should stray away from passionately advocating for me just to stay in good favor with people—just selfish!

The people in my life are going to have to understand that they are going to be in terrible shape if I decide to no longer help them and advocate for them. People always tell me how much they love me and how much they support me, but I have been shown time and time again that these are just lies. I have to say that Santresa Glass and Jesus have been the only constants in my life. I appreciate and love them both so dearly. I also appreciate my loyal readers—you bring much needed joy in my life.

For some of my family members and “close” friends, you are about to arrive at some serious moments and stages in your life. Now, I want you to imagine what will happen if I decide to no longer support you and be there for you.

I am truly frustrated with always helping people who always have their hands out, but never take an opportunity to do anything for me. I am trying to be nice about how I am handling this, but I am only human and I am headed toward just getting away from all the pretenders in my life—whether you are a family member or a friend.

If you really love and support me, you would be willing to sacrifice some things for me, including having to lose the favor of some of the people around you. When you think about it, I have lost the favor of many people by the things I have done to support you. I have given so much of myself to helping people, but rarely do I ever get any support and help in return. Just to be clear, I do not help people so that they can help me, but it would seem that when you are in a time of need that people would help you, especially when you have helped them for years.

My brighter days are in the near future, but I may not allow some of the dead weight to accompany me. I have a significant amount of evaluation to do in my life about the people in my life to determine if I’m going to let them continue to be a part of my life. Be sure to passionately advocate for someone in your life besides yourself! Do not provide people with fake advocacy. If you are not going to zealously advocate for them, then do not advocate for them at all.

Have a great remainder of your Sunday!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Keep Chopping

When the storms of life are raging, don’t let them take you out! As Bishop Paul L. Fortson once said, “Down but not counted out!” In life, you are going to face some tough battles and some unfortunate hardships, but you are going to have to learn to deal with them and not let them get the best you. You are greater than your biggest challenge and greater than your biggest problem. What resides inside of you allows you to take on the world and come out on top, so reach inside of yourself and grab your victory! Throughout my life, I have experienced many great challenges and problems, and some would have taken out most people, but I never allowed those challenges and problems to terminate who I am and my life. When things don’t go the way that you want them, keep chopping. By keep chopping, I mean keep moving, keep trying, don’t give up, don’t quit, stay focused on your goals, never give in, and don’t flinch in the face of your challenges and problems.

When people tell you that you will never be anything, or that you will never be successful, I want you to know that this is the voice of the Enemy—he does not want you to win! Defeat the Enemy with your words and actions. Many of the challenges and problems you will face will call upon you to have someone greater in your life than any human being: God. You cannot live without God. A man or woman without God is a miserable creature. If you have doubts about the existence of God, you will have plenty of time in Hell to focus on the reality of his existence.

Too many people let the Enemy fool them and cause them to give up on their passions, dreams, talents, and aspirations. Never let yourself resort to suicide as an answer to your problems. Suicide is the easy way out of your problems. Have greater faith in yourself and God to help you to overcome your problems.

I know that we are experiencing some vexing economic times, but this is not the time to give up. If you cannot find a job or no one wants to hire you, start your own business. Many people are sitting on millions of dollars by not starting their own businesses.

I don’t want to hear about how troubling of a life you have had—get off your butt and die trying to change your situation. Any person can complain and moan about being handed a terrible hand in life, but those who are willing to be courageous and fighters are willing to go out and see what they can do to change the hand they have been given.

Although I have been quite successful, my life has not been easy. Once you become successful, life will still be difficult. I do want you to know that no matter what you face you must keep chopping! God bless you all!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison