At some point, you should understand that it is important to be a passionate advocate for someone besides yourself. I have found that most of the people in my life only advocate for themselves, including family and friends—even those friends who claim to be so close to me! Most of the people in my life would not be where they are today without me—period! On the rare occasions I need something from the people in my life, I never receive close to the support I provide for them. Although I am a truly controversial figure, this does not mean that you should stray away from passionately advocating for me just to stay in good favor with people—just selfish!
The people in my life are going to have to understand that they are going to be in terrible shape if I decide to no longer help them and advocate for them. People always tell me how much they love me and how much they support me, but I have been shown time and time again that these are just lies. I have to say that Santresa Glass and Jesus have been the only constants in my life. I appreciate and love them both so dearly. I also appreciate my loyal readers—you bring much needed joy in my life.
For some of my family members and “close” friends, you are about to arrive at some serious moments and stages in your life. Now, I want you to imagine what will happen if I decide to no longer support you and be there for you.
I am truly frustrated with always helping people who always have their hands out, but never take an opportunity to do anything for me. I am trying to be nice about how I am handling this, but I am only human and I am headed toward just getting away from all the pretenders in my life—whether you are a family member or a friend.
If you really love and support me, you would be willing to sacrifice some things for me, including having to lose the favor of some of the people around you. When you think about it, I have lost the favor of many people by the things I have done to support you. I have given so much of myself to helping people, but rarely do I ever get any support and help in return. Just to be clear, I do not help people so that they can help me, but it would seem that when you are in a time of need that people would help you, especially when you have helped them for years.
My brighter days are in the near future, but I may not allow some of the dead weight to accompany me. I have a significant amount of evaluation to do in my life about the people in my life to determine if I’m going to let them continue to be a part of my life. Be sure to passionately advocate for someone in your life besides yourself! Do not provide people with fake advocacy. If you are not going to zealously advocate for them, then do not advocate for them at all.
Have a great remainder of your Sunday!
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Antonio, what an “Aha moment” post for me this, Sunday. I am 30 years old and have grown tired of consistently giving of myself to others who frankly stated, “just don’t give a damn” about me. Often the term “playing victim” is used when I express my issues and concerns to people that I “thought” were good friends, only to be discussed distastefully behind my back. Would giving certain people my ass to kiss be wrong? Hell NO! Trips me out when individuals throw around the phrases, “I’m real” or “I tell it like it is.” Give me a break *rolling eyes*. You are the same ones that worry about losing the favor of those around you, no matter the cost of your kinships or friendships. I let my walls down to speak to some groups of friends about going through a divorce and well, let’s just say that my preconceived notions of keeping my mouth shut were correct. I know the women that love, San unconditionally no matter what (always got my back and never more than a phone call or drive away) and those that “love” or “befriend” me when it conveniences them. There is a difference between reaching out to someone (phone calls, heartfelt text messages) and going through the motions to say “well I try to reach out to him/her” (emotionless voicemails and fake ass text messages).
Word of advice that you’ve already started, “Make no sacrifices; emotionally, financially, professionally, personally and most definitely not academically *wink* for those that will never conjure the thought to make them for you.” I love YOU and as stated earlier today, “We are in the middle of it.” I am thankful for everything that has occurred in my life in recent months. Like Oprah said “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” I’d like to add, “If you can’t take public transportation with me now, don’t attempt to hop your behind in my limo later.” *insert evil laugh* Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa! To those that have not and should already by now given to you abundantly by lending an ear or providing financially, I know who you are. Do ME a favor, be a friend or family member to, Antonio to your core or find your nearest stair case and lunge forward. And I’m out this mother…*dropping microphone* exit computer screen/stage left.
@Santresa: Wow! All I can say is AWESOME! Your response embodies the spirit of “unsettling, unnerving, and unhousing” that gave rise to the evolution of Revolutionary Paideia. I thank you so much for your REAL friendship and love. You are a true advocate for me–that’s for sure!
Seems as though you are asking yourself a question I’m sure many great leaders ask:
“Who warms the sun?” I find myself uttering this because it seems that at times we put out more than we get back and when we are needing warmth, comfort, sympathy, understanding, financial aid, etc., there is no one around.
Keep it up….U are on fire lately.
Thanks, Sean! People need to think about others sometimes and not just themselves. We are stronger as a people when we are working to help one another.
I thought at first this post was a bit self-centered, Antonio. Then I re-read it and thought about all the people that are consistently supportive of me (including you), and I realized the fault lays at my feet for not being very sensitive to others needs.
This post makes me feel a bit coarse and non-responsive to others.
Thanks. I really needed that.
@Goose: The aim was never to be self-centered. If any aspect of the post came off as self-centered, it is a reaction to all of the self-centered people who I constantly help like my family members and friends and never receive any support from them at all. I am sure you are sensitive to the needs of others. You always come by my blog and show your support. I’m so appreciative of you.