Respect

Don’t Get Erased—You’re Not Irreplaceable

Many people think that they’re irreplaceable.  Please think again.  There’s nothing that’s so special about you that cannot replaced.  When people start to demonstrate to you that they believe that you cannot make it without them, then you need to show them that you can.  You will find out that you don’t need those people in your life who feel that you’re nothing without them.  Who are they to think this in the first place?  People can think that they’re so much better than you, but you have to let them know that they’re thinking far too highly of themselves.  You can communicate just how much you’re not dependent on the people in your live who feel like you cannot make it without out them by severing all connections and communication with them.  Then they will have an opportunity to understand how they can be replaced.

It’s excessive hubris that causes people to consider themselves as irreplaceable.

When you erase those folks who act like they’re irreplaceable from your life, they will start to see just how valuable you’re to them.  Unfortunately, it could be too late for them to have a chance to have you to once again become a part of their lives again.  It can be quite challenging to get someone to become a part of your life again once they have made a firm commitment to erase you from his or her life.  Therefore, don’t allow your thinking, words, and actions to put you in a position where someone you really love feels compelled to erase you from his or her life.

You can also fool yourself into believing that people are not important in your life.  You can pretend like people don’t offer you many physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual benefits.  When people become fed up with you not valuing them and taking advantage of them, they will inevitably break all ties to you.  In the end, you will have to determine whether your excessive pride was more important than what you lost in those people.

No man or woman is an island.  Therefore, we all need people in our lives to help us and care for us.  Don’t ever develop a mindset where you feel like you can make it solely on your own—you will fail miserably.  You may think that you can be happy all by yourself because of your wealth, achievements, degrees, and etc., but none of those things you can truly enjoy all by yourself.  Ultimately, you’re going to want to share the value of those aforementioned things with at least one special person.

If you have special people in your life who have really proved to you that they love you, then you need to let them know you truly appreciate them.  Don’t walk around trying to prove to them that you don’t need them—prove to them that you love them and appreciate them.  Why are you walking around trying to prove to someone who truly loves you that you don’t need him or her, especially when the person has not given you any reason to need to prove this?

You need to know that people can replace you.  They can find another person to be that person you are to them.  You’re not so great that your replacement is difficult to find.  In fact, your replacement may already be someone a person has in his or her life.

Get real—you’re not irreplaceable!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Spring Clean Some Human Beings Right Out of Your Life

As I approach 30 years of life, it really just hit me: I’m responsible for how I continue to allow people to treat me. There comes a point when you have to get fed up with the things that people do to you. It’s only when you acknowledge that enough is enough that you will truly reclaim full dominion over your life. At the very minimum, you must demand people to treat you with basic respect. If people are not willing to treat you with respect, then take a stand against them. Cast those who are not willing to respect you out of your life. Do it right now! I had to come to the realization that if people are not going to do anything else they are going to respect me. I have recognized that I have the power to not allow disrespectful people to occupy space in my life. As long as you accept disrespectful people in your life, you need to own full responsibility for their treatment of you. It’s not their fault—it’s your fault. You keep allowing it so go ahead and own what you are doing to yourself.

Many of the people in our lives are disposable, but we keep them around like they are necessities. In essence, many people are optional but we let them stay around us like we don’t have a choice. When they keep mistreating and disrespecting you, look right in the mirror at the person who should be held completely responsible for this mistreatment and disrespect. You begin to press yourself smaller and smaller when you give people the constant authority to devalue you. Your mother and father did not conceive you to sit up there and let people persist to push you around and do you any way they want. You have the power right now to stop this from happening.

What’s really sad is many of us are not able to even understand when people are constantly disrespecting and mistreating us. We have allowed disrespect and mistreatment to become such the norm in our lives that we don’t see them as needing to be eradicated from our lives. Open your eyes and see what’s really going on around you. You deserve to be valued. The things that are important to you deserve to be respected.

I want you to think critically about the people in your life and give them a comprehensive evaluation. Are there any people who really do not value you as a person? Are there people who do not value your education, business, responsibilities, time, and/or etc.? Are there people who don’t show you appreciation for the things you do for them? Are there people who don’t evince their gratitude to you? If you have people like this in your life, then you need to dismiss them right now. It really is that simple when you truly love yourself.

Are you in a “serious” relationship with a person who only values you for the sexual intercourse? If so, eliminate this person from your life. Do you have “friends” who only come around you when they want something? Cast these people out of your life! Are there people in your life who only want to talk to you about themselves all the time and everything is always about them? Get rid of them right now.

We need to start appreciating and valuing ourselves more. Love yourself enough to get rid of the people in your life who are not good for you. The right time for some Spring cleaning is right now. Get busy!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison