Problems

Avoiding Problems Doesn’t Remove Them

Black Man

(Photo Credit: madamenoire.com)

If you keep running from your problems, you will never find a resolution to them.  When you try to pretend like your problems aren’t there, you’re only making them worse: the longer you avoid seeking solutions to your problems, the more difficult they become to address.  Too many people attempt to sham like they have conquered the quandaries that have given them the most pain.  It’s becoming popular for many people to say they’re “reinventing themselves,” “renewing themselves,” “living a new life,” and etc., but the reality is a true change in your life materializes conspicuous signs of change—not facades.  When many people say the aforementioned things, they’re making an effort to have others to believe their lies; they want others to think they’re living a life where they’re facing their problems directly when they’re not.

If you’re really “reinventing” yourself, “renewing” yourself, and “living a new life,” then why are there no substantive ostensible changes in your life?  Why are you unwilling to truly be yourself?  What continues to hold you back from real progress?  At the core of the answers to those questions is one’s intentional effort to run away from, hide, disguise, and bury his or her problems instead of working to defeat them.

You don’t have to live your life trying to hide and evade your problems; you can conquer them.  You must, however, be willing to deal candidly with those problems.  One can make serious progress toward remedying his or her quandaries when he or she musters the courage to confront them boldly.  Too many people attempt to bury their problems behind materialistic phenomena like money, cars, clothes, jewelry, houses, jobs, degrees, and etc., but trying to camouflage those things that are eating away at you will inevitably lead to your own undoing.

Although you may fool a number of people with your efforts to present your life as devoid of problems, the majority of folks know you have some problems—no matter what you say.  Everything’s not always going good for you.  Life exposes us to occasional challenges and problems, so don’t try to act like you’re so special and exempt for this reality.  When you invest significant time in trying to prove to others that you’re living a newly “invented” and “transformed” life, you already know authentic happiness doesn’t exist in your life, and you’re the one who is preventing real happiness from existing in your life.

Don’t allow pride to keep you from asking for help from others.  Additionally, don’t let your pride be the ultimate source of your problems.

It would be so much better to see someone truly living an ameliorated life than living a life of continuous lies; a life where one dons a faux happiness.  While things may not be going great for you right now, don’t try to pretend like they are.  Make a strong effort to engender the change in your life that will produce genuine positive results and progress—not results and “progress” that have to be fictitiously manufactured.

Boldly face your problems today and have a truly improved tomorrow.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Exercising Patience

Although many situations require us to act and/or think immediately and decisively, there comes a point when we have to be patient. We may not be patient people but some situations mandate that we be patient. I have to admit that I’m not a patient person. I do, however, understand that being successful and remaining successful entails being patient sometimes. I’ve been dealing with some problems for the last two years that I wanted to act immediately and decisively on, but I found that acting immediately and decisively on those problems would not be in my best interest. Yes, I could have solved those problems immediately but I would have missed out on what time has placed in my favor to address those problems with even more auspicious results for me. It’s almost time for me reap the benefits of exercising patience with several serious problems that I’ve let time work in my complete favor. Again, I’m a tremendously impatient person and a person who loves to respond immediately to problems, but I have learned that allowing time to benefit you on some problems will help you to address them in their totality and not just the surface level issues of the problems.

I understand that it can be hard to not immediately respond to a problem that emerges from someone doing something wrong to you. I am a person who has to work hard to try to calm myself down because I don’t mind popping you in your mouth in a heartbeat when you do something wrong to me. Over the past two years, God has been really good to some folks because they were supposed to be…(the Holy Spirit just interceded, so I cannot finish this sentence). Lol! When people do things wrong to you, I have learned that you cannot try to respond to them all immediately all the time. You will find yourself fighting daily battles and never having an opportunity to work on advancing yourself if you attempt to respond to all things people do to you all the time.

I’ve also learned to be more patient in my personal and business relationships. I’m so aggressive that I don’t really want to wait on anything. I’ll see something or someone that I want in a personal and business relationship and I’ll just immediately try to seize the thing or person. This is not a wise thing to do, however. Everything is not made to be seized immediately. You can actually disrupt the natural connection that you have to things and people when you rush your relation to those things and people. When you are as aggressive as I am, it’s vital for you to take a step back and think about how your aggressiveness might be perceived as a tremendously negative thing in a personal and business relationship. You don’t have to change who you are but you can consider how you might better position your natural aggressiveness to benefit you the most. You can allow your aggressiveness to manifest itself in other ways than just immediate reactions.

When you make a conscious effort to be more patient, you can learn serious truths about yourself. You might learn that the things or people you desired are not really what you need or want or what you need or want immediately. When you are not willing to exercise patience sometimes, you could prevent yourself from benefitting from the critical thinking you need. The lack of patience can really lead us to some ignorant decisions.

Of course, it’s essential to act immediately and decisively in many situations, but your dominant approach should not be to act immediately and decisively all the time. When you are always ready to make decisions immediately and decisively, people can begin to start to anticipate you; you become predictable. You need to have some level of unpredictability in your personal and business relationships.

Exercising patience is not being weak—it can often reveal your true strength.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison