Leeching

Fool No More

There comes a time when you have to show people how important you are to them.  Many people will try to take advantage of you and you need to respond to those people by having some fun at their expense.  The one thing you can do to have some fun at their expense is to take everything away from them that you give to them.  If it is possible, you can simply remove yourself from them by not communicating with them and keeping your distance from them.  While they may attempt to act like your failure to communicate with them and hang around them has no impact, their internal truths unveil to them that your presence in their lives is truly vital.

Why should you have some fun at the expense of people who fail to appreciate you for what you truly mean in their lives?  Well, at some point, you have to stop being people’s play toy and begin to show folks that you have backbone.  If you do choose to do something for them while you are toying with them, require them to do things in exchange for what they want from you that you know they really do not want to do.  While they may not do what you ask them to do, you can simply enjoy the experience of them acting like they do not need you when they decline to do what you ask them to do, or you can simply sit back and gain great satisfaction in watching them do the things you know they do not want to do.  Is this really being cruel to these individuals?  Not at all!  They were not concerned with how they were treating you, so do not waste a whole lot of time thinking about what your fun at their expense is doing to them.  You have spent enough time worrying about them.  Take the time, energy, and resources you invest in them and devote them more to yourself and deserving people.

Now, if you have family and friends who have been underappreciating you, then you cannot simply let them continue to do this.  You have to make up in your mind that enough is enough!  Don’t let even the closest family member and friend take advantage of you any longer.  When close family and friends are trying to take advantage of you, you need to reconsider just how close you need to remain to them.  It’s okay to distance yourself completely from close family members and friends.  Let them feel what life is like without you.  They may just learn how to show you they appreciate you.

Before you begin to communicate and/or hang around these people again, make sure they have conspicuously evinced that they learned what it means to appreciate you.  For those people who want to keep acting like they don’t need you in their lives, then let them continue to suffer without you being in their lives.  Continue to enjoy watching them try to scramble to make things work for themselves when they know life is so much more difficult without what you have so generously provided and provide for them.

While it may be an ugly truth you don’t want to face, you must face it: refuse to continue to be people’s fool.  Turn the people who have tried to make you a fool into the true fools. Refuse to be used! Refuse to lose!  You cannot win in life when you keep letting everyone leech off of you and take advantage of you.  There’s a clear difference between being nice and being stupid.  Learn the difference and put your learning into practice.

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Spring Clean Some Human Beings Right Out of Your Life

As I approach 30 years of life, it really just hit me: I’m responsible for how I continue to allow people to treat me. There comes a point when you have to get fed up with the things that people do to you. It’s only when you acknowledge that enough is enough that you will truly reclaim full dominion over your life. At the very minimum, you must demand people to treat you with basic respect. If people are not willing to treat you with respect, then take a stand against them. Cast those who are not willing to respect you out of your life. Do it right now! I had to come to the realization that if people are not going to do anything else they are going to respect me. I have recognized that I have the power to not allow disrespectful people to occupy space in my life. As long as you accept disrespectful people in your life, you need to own full responsibility for their treatment of you. It’s not their fault—it’s your fault. You keep allowing it so go ahead and own what you are doing to yourself.

Many of the people in our lives are disposable, but we keep them around like they are necessities. In essence, many people are optional but we let them stay around us like we don’t have a choice. When they keep mistreating and disrespecting you, look right in the mirror at the person who should be held completely responsible for this mistreatment and disrespect. You begin to press yourself smaller and smaller when you give people the constant authority to devalue you. Your mother and father did not conceive you to sit up there and let people persist to push you around and do you any way they want. You have the power right now to stop this from happening.

What’s really sad is many of us are not able to even understand when people are constantly disrespecting and mistreating us. We have allowed disrespect and mistreatment to become such the norm in our lives that we don’t see them as needing to be eradicated from our lives. Open your eyes and see what’s really going on around you. You deserve to be valued. The things that are important to you deserve to be respected.

I want you to think critically about the people in your life and give them a comprehensive evaluation. Are there any people who really do not value you as a person? Are there people who do not value your education, business, responsibilities, time, and/or etc.? Are there people who don’t show you appreciation for the things you do for them? Are there people who don’t evince their gratitude to you? If you have people like this in your life, then you need to dismiss them right now. It really is that simple when you truly love yourself.

Are you in a “serious” relationship with a person who only values you for the sexual intercourse? If so, eliminate this person from your life. Do you have “friends” who only come around you when they want something? Cast these people out of your life! Are there people in your life who only want to talk to you about themselves all the time and everything is always about them? Get rid of them right now.

We need to start appreciating and valuing ourselves more. Love yourself enough to get rid of the people in your life who are not good for you. The right time for some Spring cleaning is right now. Get busy!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison