In many classic literary stories, we read the line: “And they lived happily ever after.” I truly live a great life. Even when I’m not having the best day, I still have a smile on my face. I have been fortunate to accomplish many amazing things and have amassed noteworthy credentials. I have learned that many people are not going to be pleased with the fact I’m happy. Over the years, many people have developed a hatred for me. The reason most of them hate me is I refuse to be like them and/or my happiness, confidence and assertiveness unsettles them. At the core of all my haters is deep envy.
Many individuals don’t like me because of my lack of interest in getting married right now. At the moment, I’m focused on my professional and academic life and don’t have any interest to seriously contemplate marriage. I enjoy my single life. I’m single by choice—trust me. All of the people who have negatively criticized me for not being married are not in desirable marriages or relationships. Although many people don’t want to admit it, there are many advantages to remaining single. For those Christians who like to harshly criticize me for not being married, I want them to study First Corinthians more. In First Corinthians, Paul explains that it is better for a person to stay single, considering he or she is in a better position to serve Christ.
Many people argue that it’s weird for an almost 32 year old man to not be married or involved in a solemn relationship with a woman. Well, when did I say I was striving to not be “weird”? Too often the constructions of “normal” are about hegemony, assimilation and conformity. I’m a revolutionary—not a status quo guy. An almost 32 year old Black man can be happily single, devoted to his professional career and doctoral studies and not be a homosexual. Trust me, I don’t have time to be straight, bisexual, homosexual, or asexual. Lol!
Moreover, my haters hate because I don’t downplay my achievements, credentials and knowledge to pacify their inadequacies. Many people want me to agree with them always—that’s never going to happen. They don’t want me to have opinions about various issues that diverge from their opinions.
My haters will even attempt to use something from this article to attack me. Many will take things out of context from this piece to formulate lies and unmerited attacks.
While many people allow their haters to discourage them, my haters encourage me. When they attack me, I gain strength from their attacks. Their attacks let me know I’m doing an outstanding job. I have learned that you have to turn others’ hatred for you into positive energy. Although my haters think they bother me, I use my knowledge of the things they envy the most about me against them. For example, for those who don’t like that I’m getting a Ph.D., I make sure to mention the fact that I’m working to obtain it when I’m around them. You’ve got to unsettle your haters and they will inevitably flee from you.
I have a wonderful life because I refuse to let anything and anybody prevent me from having one. The higher your achievements, the larger the number of haters you will have. Be determined that you’re not going to let anyone and anything stop you from being happy. Live a happy life with me. When I die, people will honestly be able to say my life reflects the classic “happily ever after” line. Guess what? This will be a fact even if I never get married.
Have the courage to live life without limits. Be yourself.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison