Character

The Problem is You—Not Someone Else

Solving Problems

(Photo Credit: WBWN FM)

When one allows his or her challenges, problems and circumstances to overtake him or her, the resolution lies in the mirror. You are the problem. Stop running around trying to make it seem like the problem is someone else. Even when you do underhanded stuff to attempt to make the real problem seem like it’s someone else, the fact still remains the true problem is you. People will allow their intellectual and spiritual vision to become clouded by listening to the lies and noise of folks who really don’t mean to do them any good in the first place. You have to be careful who you lend your ears to, considering you might be lending them to someone who is responsible for your downward spiral or downfall. Always allow the wisdom and discernment God gives you to lead you, even when you’re at home with members of your immediate family. Lending your ears to the words and “advice” of those immediate family members may be the reason why you’re dealing with the challenges, problems and circumstances you’re currently facing.

A person who has great character does not allow what he or she is going through to have a deleterious impact on his or her character. People with great character rise above the problem and seek an effective and amicable resolution to the problem.

If you’re truly interested in resolving your problems, then you should welcome the input of people you’ve known for a long time. When they offer their opinions and critiques, you shouldn’t turn them into your enemies simply because they express unsettling sentiments. Those unsettling sentiments might be the vehicles through which you realize what you need to do to remedy your problems. God intentionally designed us to be dependent on one another, evidenced from the beginning of the world by Adam’s longing for human companionship and a “help meet.” Never allow a spirit of intolerance to cause you to think and act ignorantly.

When people challenge you, embrace the challenge.

Never be afraid to acknowledge and admit you’re losing your way. Although people are willing to give superficial support to someone who says, “be yourself,” many don’t demonstrate an authentic commitment to being themselves.

Get out of your comfort zone and respond to your problems candidly. You will live a more enjoyable life when you muster the courage to deal squarely with your problems. Take the necessary time to conduct a frank self-assessment. Engage in deep thought about the way you process problems and your style(s) for addressing them. Make the essential modifications and begin to live life to the fullest.

Dr. Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

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Check Your Attitude

One thing you need to make sure you always evaluate throughout each day is your attitude.  Always make an effort to not let your attitude dominate you—you should dominate it.  After all, it’s your attitude.  When you commit yourself to having a positive attitude, this will help you to avoid experiencing so many “bad days” and “bad moods.”  You can resolve within yourself that you’re not going to allow your attitude to cause people to look unfavorably on you.  Of course, people are going to judge you regardless of the type of attitude you have, but you have to admit that a repulsive attitude is certainly going to trigger pejorative critiques of you.

When you’re not the master of your attitude, this can affect your decision making.  If you have a negative attitude, this can result in you making decisions that can generate undesired outcomes.  For example, when you give the things you’re going through the power to control your attitude, and then your negative attitude results in you treating those who really love you wrong, your unappealing attitude can cause those individuals to steer away from you because of their fear of being hurt again.  Now, imagine how differently those who don’t really love you will respond to your unflattering attitude.

Mastering your attitude is a matter of self-control.  You have to be in control of yourself in order to be in control of your attitude.  When you find it challenging to control your attitude, then this reality should inform you that you have a number of things in your life that have spiraled out of control.  You must immediately work to gain control of those things.  It may not be best to try to work on getting the problematic things together in your life that are impacting your attitude alone.  You may want to seek professional counseling and/or the support of those who really love you.

If there are things from your past that continue to keep you from having a good attitude, then you need to seek professional counseling and/or support from those who love you to defeat those things in your past deleterious to your attitude.  It certainly will not hurt for you to ameliorate your spiritual life by beginning a personal relationship with God or becoming more dedicated to your extant personal relationship with God.

Your attitude reflects your character.  If you have poor character, you’re going to have a poor attitude.  For those with good character, the type of attitude you have can reveal some things you need to work on that could cause people to perceive you as not having good character.

Keeping our attitude in check should become one of our fundamental priorities each day.

When a person has been supporting and doing things for you for years, don’t let your damaging attitude communicate to him or her that you’re ungrateful for the things he or she has done.

A poor attitude can develop from immaturity.  If you’re struggling with a poor attitude, therefore, it may be a sign that you need to devote more effort to maturing.  You’re not always going to get your way—true adults understand this reality.

The reason why it’s vital for all us to check our attitude throughout each day is conditions and people may influence us to develop an unbecoming attitude, even for a short period of time.  We have to, therefore, be ready to exercise full control over our attitude, especially when anger-inducing people and circumstances emerge.

Have you checked your attitude today?

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

That’s Why They Play the Game

You should never step on a court or field and think that you’ve already won a game before you play the game.  Coaches should never think that their players are so great that it’s not possible for their team to lose against an opponent who is not expected to win.  When you’re truly a great team, you prepare in practice for every team with the same level of intensity and with the goal of getting better and better.  It’s okay to step on a court or field and feel confident that you’re going to win, but you shouldn’t think that you’ve already won.  Upsets happen often because teams feel like they’ve already won before the game is played.

Coaches need to make sure they teach their teams how to win and lose with grace. When a team defeats you, don’t start trying to fight because you’re so upset that you lost.  If you’re a high school or college student-athlete, your unacceptable behavior after a win or loss can cause you a chance to play at the next level because people can be turned off with how you act after a win or loss. You have to understand that there are going to be times when you win and times when you’re going to lose.  Always maintain control of your attitude because your character matters at all times.

Demonstrating poor character after a win or loss can make people stop supporting you and make them not want to come see you play another game.  People don’t come to see you play with poor character—they come to see you display your talent with sportsmanship.

If you’re an arrogant coach, then you need to understand that your arrogance is going to cost your team a loss inevitably.  Arrogant coaches need to resign from their jobs because they don’t set the kind of example they need to for their team.  Arrogant coaches make everything about themselves and often close their ears from listening to good advice from others who can help them to improve their coaching and team.

Never make sports your life.  There are more important things in life than sports.

Play every game like it’s your last because it could very well be your last.  With the severe injuries that can and do occur during games, you have to understand that you may not have another chance to display your talent on the court or field again.  Therefore, make the best of every opportunity you have.

In order for a team to win a game, a team only needs to be the best team on that particular day.  As the high school and college football season winds down to their final games, don’t forget that the teams expected to win may not win.  You cannot go ahead and write a team off until the game is actually played.  When you write a team off before the game is played, this is when you are setting yourself up for failure.  Your opponents know when you take them for granted and they seize on the opportunities your arrogance affords them.

Don’t let your arrogance cost you a win!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Be Proud of What You Have Accomplished

When you have a record you are proud of, don’t allow people to make you downplay what you have accomplished. You have worked hard to obtain the record you have—embrace it! Don’t worry about people calling you arrogant. I hear that all of time, especially here in Madison, Wisconsin. Most of the time people call me arrogant because they are envious and jealous of me. This may be true for you as well, so simply disregard empty charges of arrogance. You know whether or not you are simply proudly stating the facts about your record or simply being boastful for attention. When one looks at my proud record of helping countless individuals without a moment of notoriety, it becomes quite difficult for a clear thinking individual to charge me with being arrogant. I will not, however, dim my lights just to give your darkness some sunshine.

When people attack your record, you have to respond to those attacks at some point. Now, I am not saying that you need to respond to every attack on your record, but there comes a point when you have to address serious and malicious attacks on your record. Just to let you know, when you try to viciously attack my record, you will no longer have any credibility after I am finished with you. Your record is your greatest investment. People who want to attack your record have to be confronted and addressed. Just as you would not allow anyone to steal your financial investments, you cannot allow someone to steal your record.

Although people lie and scandalize your name, please know that these are weeds that have to be plucked and trashed. You can be a good person and still not let people run over you and attempt to treat you like you are nothing. When you allow people to treat you like nothing, you are doing great violence to your own record. Your record is what you make it—don’t let other people allow your record to be stained. If you have aspects about your record that you don’t like, just work hard to correct them, and work hard to add the things you want on your record.

To the people who enjoy going out trying to destroy people’s records, you are truly the scum of the earth. Stop allowing your low self-esteem to cause you to hate on others. I would encourage you to spend more of your time on helping others and not on trying to bring people down. If you were devoting your lives to substantive things and selfless acts, you would not feel that emptiness inside of you that causes you to try to go out and destroy people.

To those people who have attempted to distort my record and destroy my character, I am proud to report to you that you have failed! Although there are numerous people out there trying to attack, distort, and destroy my record and character, I am winning and you are losing! I have each one of my enemies on a list, and one by one I have something special waiting for each one of you, especially for one particular man who has caused so much chaos!

Antonio Maurice Daniels

University of Wisconsin-Madison