Avoiding Problems Doesn’t Remove Them
(Photo Credit: madamenoire.com)
If you keep running from your problems, you will never find a resolution to them. When you try to pretend like your problems aren’t there, you’re only making them worse: the longer you avoid seeking solutions to your problems, the more difficult they become to address. Too many people attempt to sham like they have conquered the quandaries that have given them the most pain. It’s becoming popular for many people to say they’re “reinventing themselves,” “renewing themselves,” “living a new life,” and etc., but the reality is a true change in your life materializes conspicuous signs of change—not facades. When many people say the aforementioned things, they’re making an effort to have others to believe their lies; they want others to think they’re living a life where they’re facing their problems directly when they’re not.
If you’re really “reinventing” yourself, “renewing” yourself, and “living a new life,” then why are there no substantive ostensible changes in your life? Why are you unwilling to truly be yourself? What continues to hold you back from real progress? At the core of the answers to those questions is one’s intentional effort to run away from, hide, disguise, and bury his or her problems instead of working to defeat them.
You don’t have to live your life trying to hide and evade your problems; you can conquer them. You must, however, be willing to deal candidly with those problems. One can make serious progress toward remedying his or her quandaries when he or she musters the courage to confront them boldly. Too many people attempt to bury their problems behind materialistic phenomena like money, cars, clothes, jewelry, houses, jobs, degrees, and etc., but trying to camouflage those things that are eating away at you will inevitably lead to your own undoing.
Although you may fool a number of people with your efforts to present your life as devoid of problems, the majority of folks know you have some problems—no matter what you say. Everything’s not always going good for you. Life exposes us to occasional challenges and problems, so don’t try to act like you’re so special and exempt for this reality. When you invest significant time in trying to prove to others that you’re living a newly “invented” and “transformed” life, you already know authentic happiness doesn’t exist in your life, and you’re the one who is preventing real happiness from existing in your life.
Don’t allow pride to keep you from asking for help from others. Additionally, don’t let your pride be the ultimate source of your problems.
It would be so much better to see someone truly living an ameliorated life than living a life of continuous lies; a life where one dons a faux happiness. While things may not be going great for you right now, don’t try to pretend like they are. Make a strong effort to engender the change in your life that will produce genuine positive results and progress—not results and “progress” that have to be fictitiously manufactured.
Boldly face your problems today and have a truly improved tomorrow.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Related Articles
- Shatter Unnecessary Comfort Zones (revolutionarypaideia.com)
- Conflict resolution (intheserviceofgod.wordpress.com)
- What if All Conflict Ceased to Exist? (coppellpianoshop.wordpress.com)
- Life is difficult… (toddlohenry.com)
- Truth and consequences (amusingspirit.wordpress.com)
- 5 Ways to Conquer Problems with Perspective (hlomies.wordpress.com)
- 8 Things You Should Fight for Every Day (marcandangel.com)
- 10 Ways to Be the Person You Wanted to Be as a Kid (tinybuddha.com)
- How To Make Hard Decisions Easy (mindthegoodlife.com)
Just Like Jesus: A Heart Like His by Max Lucado
Just Like Jesus: A Heart Like His ( by Max Lucado, the popular author of numerous Christian books, presents the dominant thesis that God loves you the way you are but He does not intend to leave you the way you are. Lucado contends that God wants you to develop a heart like Jesus and He wants to make you just like Jesus. The author asserts that the central focus of a true Christian’s life is patterning his or her thoughts, words, and actions after Jesus.
I found Lucado’s book to provide a substantive understanding of how God will assist you in becoming what He wants you to be. At the end of the book, there is a “Study Guide” for each chapter that enables the reader to engage in critical thought about each chapter. By including this “Study Guide,” the writer evinces his serious desire for the reader to grasp the importance of each chapter’s primary messages. I agree with Lucado’s overriding thesis that God loves you just the way you are but He does not intend for you to remain the way you are.
Too often religious leaders don’t let people know they have greatness already within them. When Jesus comes into their lives, He activates the greatness that lies within them. Lucado’s book is vital reminder to readers that God can use them for His glory as He transforms them into the people He needs them to be. I found his argument that God longs for total control of humans’ lives to be at the core of what it means to be a Christian and a significant message for postmodern Christians to contemplate and embrace.
I highly recommend you purchase this book today! The book can be purchased here: http://www.thomasnelson.com/just-like-jesus-5.html and you can read other reviews of this book here: http://www.booksneeze.com/reviews/bybook/9780849947438. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson to compose this review.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Related Articles
- Just Like Jesus {a review} (journeywithd.com)
- you are tweakable (makemewings.wordpress.com)
- Just Like Jesus review (crossingbookstore.wordpress.com)
Boredom Can Lead to Trouble
On Facebook and Twitter, I often read about how “bored” many people are. With as many tasks I have to complete each day, I have a difficult time envisaging how any individual who is in middle school and beyond can experience boredom. Why not read the numerous great books available? Why not start a blog? Why not invest more time into studying your core academic subjects, especially those that pose the greatest challenges? When you feel like you’re bored, this is simply a sign you’re not devoting your time to enough important phenomena. While you may not feel inclined to make lifestyle changes, I want to warn you that I’ve witnessed too many people get themselves into serious trouble by being “bored” too often.
The answer to being bored is not drinking so many alcoholic beverages you end up attempting to drive your car and then foolishly run into someone on the road and kill him or her. This can cause you to end up incarceration and then you’re really going to know what boredom truly is.
Although you may live in a small town where there’s not many places to visit to offer you entertainment, you need to learn to gain satisfaction from appropriate things you can do with your time. For those of you in middle or high school, I would encourage you to participate in as many extracurricular activities as you can. Join as many clubs as you can. If there are not clubs or organizations on your campus that interest you, see if there is a faculty member who would be willing to start a formal organization or club that interests you and others. If you cannot get a faculty member to help you to start the type of organization or club you desire to be a member of, then partner with other students and form the club or organization. You will find that there’s nothing wrong with having an informal club or organization.
Make the most of your time. Life is too short for you to waste most of your time talking about you’re bored. One of the best ways to terminate boredom is to find things you can do to help others. Your life will be more rewarding when you give some of your time to helping others. Many people are always bored because they are empty on the inside. When you share some of your time assisting others, your life will have more meaning.
Allowing yourself to be bored can cause you to make poor choices; choices that may impact you for a long time or forever. Be the master of your own behavior. Don’t let your body control you—you control your body.
If you’re a college student and you find yourself bored, this means you’re wasting valuable time that you could be investing in increasing the prospect of you obtaining a job after you graduate or improving your chances to gain adequate funding for graduate school. It may be useful for you to get a part-time job to occupy some of the time you believe needs to be filled, and this will enable you to make some needed money.
Don’t let your idle mind be your tragic flaw.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Related Articles
- I don’t do boredom. (rmbenson.wordpress.com)
- Boredom Explained (in under 300 words) (spring.org.uk)
- Why boredom at work is a good thing (smartplanet.com)
- In Defense of Boredom (retiredsyd.typepad.com)
- Curing Boredom (range.wordpress.com)
- Boredom Fighter (inkshrink17.wordpress.com)
- A History of Boredom (onewaystreet.typepad.com)
The Spotlight
For many people, they have a great desire to be in the spotlight. When many of these individuals get their chance to be in the spotlight they fail. Many people are going to have to learn that they are simply not ready to have the spotlight turned on them. Each time you have your opportunity to be in the spotlight and you keep failing while in it means it’s not your time to be in the spotlight. Learn how to sit back and learn from others who are successful in the spotlight more before you try to claim the spotlight. Some people will have to face the harsh reality that the spotlight is simply not for them.
You also have to understand that having the spotlight all of the time is not necessarily a good thing. Some people are embarrassing themselves in the spotlight. The only reason many people have the spotlight is people enjoy laughing at how stupid they are performing in the spotlight. What may be even more sad than this is many of these individuals don’t know that people are laughing at them, instead of laughing with them. Don’t become so desperate for attention that you will be willing to do anything to get it. Unfortunately, too many people are willing to go to extremes to get attention.
If you’re really worthy of being in the spotlight, you will not have to beg or force you way into it. Most people who authentically deserve to be in the spotlight have an opportunity to be in the spotlight. Of course, there are many well-deserving people who should be in the spotlight but are not in it. Many people who do thankless work and who do charitable work go without the proper recognition they deserve. It is people like those who do thankless and charitable work who need to be in the spotlight and not people who are engaging in a whole bunch of foolishness.
A person is really vain who says that he or she deserves to be in the spotlight, especially when no one else says he or she deserves to be in the spotlight.
Many people who are in the spotlight and have been in the spotlight can tell you that it’s not all good as you think it may be to be in the spotlight. If you’re always chasing after the spotlight, you will live a completely empty life. Chasing the spotlight means you’re constantly looking for someone to validate who you are. You must learn to validate yourself. Don’t always look for someone else to let you know that you are special.
Don’t get angry when people laugh at you when you force your way into the spotlight and were not ready for it. Learn to be patient and wait for your opportunity to shine to naturally arrive.
People are not going to think you should be in the spotlight just because you are always speaking the loudest, always feel you need to be the one who’s talking, always feel the need to make a grand entrance when you walk into a room, and/or always saying ridiculous things on your Facebook page just to get attention.
To succeed in the spotlight, you must earn the spotlight.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Related articles
- Attention seekers (uniquely-strange.me)
- All eyes on thee (rhymesfromthedeep.blogspot.com)
- Are you the Attention Seeker kind?……… (stervelim.com)
Being Disappointed with Yourself
You’re not always going to meet your own expectations for yourself and the expectations of others. No human being is perfect. A part of being human is understanding that you are incapable of perfection. When you have not met your responsibilities, don’t sit there and wallow in your self-pity—dust yourself off and try again. If you have made some poor choices, it’s okay. Learn from those poor choices and strive to not make them again. If you make them again, keep working not to repeat them. Too many people put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect. For many, it’s almost like a surprise when they don’t do things perfectly. Why would you be surprised? You have not been perfect from the day you were conceived.
You cannot let what you feel others may think about your poor choices worry you that much. You will drive yourself insane trying to please people all the time. It’s impossible to please people all the time because many people don’t even know what “being pleased” is.
Being disappointed is not a good feeling. We have to make sure that we are doing our best to prevent disappointments from occurring. However, no matter how much you are doing to attempt to prevent disappointments from happening they are still going to happen. The effort that you devote to foiling disappointments from occurring can help to reduce the number of disappointments you experience.
If you are never disappointed with yourself, you will never know how proud of yourself you should be when you do something really good or great. Disappointments come to improve us. If everything goes just great for you all the time, you would not feel human. It would also feel like you cannot feel. Do you really want to go through life not being able to feel? I don’t think you really want to go through life not being able to feel.
People think that everything always goes great for me. They look at my level of success, accomplishments, titles, positions, degrees, talents, and etc. and think that every day and everything is wonderful for me. Yes, I’m very successful and highly accomplished but my success and accomplishments did not come without my share of disappointments. In fact, the more success and accomplishments I earn the greater the pressure I place on myself to be even better. With the tremendous pressure I place on myself to become greater and greater, I experience many disappointments.
Don’t make me be less than human by thinking that everything is always going great for me and that every day is a successful day for me. I am not a robot. I feel. Although my external wrapper and internal coating is much stronger than most, I still feel. I have cloudy days and cloudy moments just as you do. I encourage you not to perceive people who are successful and accomplished to be something larger than human. Yes, we are successful and accomplished but still human.
I take comfort in my disappointments because I did all that I could reasonably do to avoid being disappointed. At the end of the day, all I can ask myself to do is the best I can do. When I’ve done all I can reasonably do to do my best, it’s then that I recognize I don’t have a need to feel disappointed with myself.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
2011 Has New Struggles for You
Although people love to write and talk about the positive aspects of an upcoming new year, I want to focus on the anticipated and unknown struggles of 2011. Don’t be so overly optimistic about the new year that you avoid thinking about how challenging of a year 2011 can be and/or will be for you. While there is certainly nothing wrong with thinking positively about 2011, I just want you to know that we are not about to witness a transition to a new Utopian epoch. You are going to have to deal with some of the problems you faced in 2010 in 2011. What you should be thinking about is how you are going to address those problems in 2011. Think about how you are going to conquer the challenges that still linger on from 2010. Are you going to avoid those challenges, run from them, or face them head on?
Will you simply give up on life if someone close to you dies in 2011? Have you given this question any thought? Although you may not necessarily know how you will really react until something like this happens, you should at least give this question some serious thought because it could happen. You should have plans in place to respond to the unexpected death of a person who you are close to. If you don’t have a living will prepared, then let 2011 be the year that you construct one. If you don’t have life and health insurance, let 2011 be the year that you obtain these essential forms of insurance (if you can).
Learn to embrace the struggles you are facing in your life. Everybody is facing struggles. In 2011, don’t try to hide the fact that you are facing struggles. When you attempt to hide the struggles you are facing, you are not being real with yourself. When you are not being real with yourself, you are not being yourself.
If you have dreams of doing great things this year, don’t simply talk and write about them—go out and make them happen. When you know that you are not well-suited for what you are longing to be, then you need to come to the realization that your destiny and greatness is in an area where you have some natural talent.
Some people will dream all of their lives but there comes a point when you are going to have to do more than dream—you are going to need to go out and act! Yes, dreams and visions are important but they demand that we act passionately on them. Your dreams and visions are going to cause you great struggles, but if your dreams and visions don’t come with great struggles, then they are really too small. Your greatness is going to come with great struggles.
I want this year to be your greatest year, but for this year to be your greatest you are going to have to get real with yourself. You are going to have to be willing to suffer through the struggles that are going to come on the road to your destiny. This is a year where you are going to see more and more that you will never reach your greatness until you learn to be yourself. When you have a strong commitment to being yourself, you will find that your road to greatness will be much easier to drive on. Have a happy new year!
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Why I Never Desire to be a Failure
Of course, I have and will fail at things in life, as we all have and will. I will not, however, be a failure. I have resolved to never allow anything and anybody to cause me to be a failure. Although I have a number of enemies, I have many more allies, loved ones, and friends. Many of these friends, allies, and loved ones count on me to be successful and will not accept me being a failure. My decision to not be a failure begins and ends with my resolve from within to not settle for what is easy—failure. Without a doubt, if you want to choose the easy path in life, choose to be a failure. Just because you have and/or are experiencing some hardships does not make you a failure. I have found that many of us are simply too hard on ourselves. We don’t recognize just how great we are.
When you make this decision to be a failure, you are making a very selfish decision. There are people out there who need you to be a winner for them. There are people out there counting on you to be the success that they are looking for. Therefore, just before you get ready to throw in the towel and give up on life, I want you to think about the people out there you can be a help to. Think about the people out there who consider you to be a success and not a failure.
If people are looking for you to fail, prove them wrong! Don’t prove them right by simply surrendering to their negativity. When you are on your path to success, or when you are successful, people are going to attack you and long for you to be a failure. Never allow them to take away your greatness and your greatness can be found within yourself.
I want you to write down 3 things that you do well and think about how those things can help you to become successful or continue your success. Think about how those 3 things can be improved. I want you to think about these 3 things from now until the last day of this year, and I know that a focus on these 3 things are going to give you the strength, knowledge, and hope necessary to continue your success or place you on a path destined for success.
I encourage you to never allow yourself to have failure as your goal and to never accept failure as your destiny. God created us for success and for greatness. You cannot let what is going on right now in your life to discourage you from striving to achieve your goals. I know I’m never going to allow negativity, hate, and people to prevent me from continuing to experience success. Go out today and experience your success and greatness!
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
People Always Want to Have Something on You
The more successful, popular, intelligent, attractive, articulate, athletic, and/or etc. you are, the more people will go to extremes to try to find something on you to use it against you. Even when you are transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, people will still go to extremes to find something on you to attempt to bring you down. I would also like you all to be watchful of even jokes people make about you because jokes are often used as furtive vehicles for viciously attacking a person and/or trying to make the person feel uncomfortable, terrible, and/or degraded. For those of you who are tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism, as I am, you don’t have to reveal every single thing to people to continue to feel within yourself that you are still transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism. When you don’t give those who are seeking to critique or evaluate you the information they are so eager to receive, then don’t feel like you are wavering on your tremendously transparent, open, and unbothered by negative criticism nature.
When people attempt to negatively criticize you or attack you for not giving them the information they desire so that they can use it as a potential opportunity to have something on you, I recommend for you to take this as an opportunity to turn their malevolent attempts into opportunities to unnerve them. You can unnerve them by asking them questions about their motivations for seeking the information they are requesting and asking them why it is so important for them to get the information. When you are clear that they have intentional negative motivations for obtaining the information, go ahead and begin to unsettle them with probing observations and critiques about them. Let them know you know they are trying to hate on you.
What people who attempt to gain negative information on people to use the information against these people don’t understand they are wasting their time. When people have earned such a distinguished reputation and record, their reputation and record is difficult to sabotage. I am not suggesting that people seeking to destroy your reputation and record with negative information cannot succeed, but I want to comfort those of you concerned about people using negative information against you that you should not fear them.
While many of the motivations for people wanting to have something on you to use it against you are conspicuous, I will be spending a little time in the future just thinking about more complex motivations they may have. I will let you all know the fruits of my reflections too.
If you are a person who is always seeking to use something against someone, I would like to hear from you to better understand people like you. If you are afraid to place a comment on my blog, then feel free to contact me at antoniomdaniels@gmail.com.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Passionately Advocate for Someone Besides Yourself
At some point, you should understand that it is important to be a passionate advocate for someone besides yourself. I have found that most of the people in my life only advocate for themselves, including family and friends—even those friends who claim to be so close to me! Most of the people in my life would not be where they are today without me—period! On the rare occasions I need something from the people in my life, I never receive close to the support I provide for them. Although I am a truly controversial figure, this does not mean that you should stray away from passionately advocating for me just to stay in good favor with people—just selfish!
The people in my life are going to have to understand that they are going to be in terrible shape if I decide to no longer help them and advocate for them. People always tell me how much they love me and how much they support me, but I have been shown time and time again that these are just lies. I have to say that Santresa Glass and Jesus have been the only constants in my life. I appreciate and love them both so dearly. I also appreciate my loyal readers—you bring much needed joy in my life.
For some of my family members and “close” friends, you are about to arrive at some serious moments and stages in your life. Now, I want you to imagine what will happen if I decide to no longer support you and be there for you.
I am truly frustrated with always helping people who always have their hands out, but never take an opportunity to do anything for me. I am trying to be nice about how I am handling this, but I am only human and I am headed toward just getting away from all the pretenders in my life—whether you are a family member or a friend.
If you really love and support me, you would be willing to sacrifice some things for me, including having to lose the favor of some of the people around you. When you think about it, I have lost the favor of many people by the things I have done to support you. I have given so much of myself to helping people, but rarely do I ever get any support and help in return. Just to be clear, I do not help people so that they can help me, but it would seem that when you are in a time of need that people would help you, especially when you have helped them for years.
My brighter days are in the near future, but I may not allow some of the dead weight to accompany me. I have a significant amount of evaluation to do in my life about the people in my life to determine if I’m going to let them continue to be a part of my life. Be sure to passionately advocate for someone in your life besides yourself! Do not provide people with fake advocacy. If you are not going to zealously advocate for them, then do not advocate for them at all.
Have a great remainder of your Sunday!
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
