Dear Revolutionary Paideia readers:
You would like to think that people who are claiming to be good people would not be envious of you and wouldn’t try to tear you down. You cannot, however, let your guard down just because people claim to be good people. Many of the most envious people are the ones you least expect. Many of the people who are shaking your hand, patting you on the back, and giving sundry expressions of praise are people who secretly wish negative things for you. It’s vital for you to open your natural and spirit eyes to see what people who are close and not close to you are attempting to do to you. Listen to what they say about you, even when they’re using third person.
One tactic envious people employ is making an effort to attack you for having one or more things they desire. They will attempt to use what you have that they want against you. For example, if a person is envious of you because you’re more educated, he or she might claim that the reason you obtained the level of education you did was to have your ego stroked. Trust me, most people (if not all) are not gaining high levels of academic training just to have their egos stroked. After all, folks have to eat and they may have a longing to eat better than you do, which contributes to their efforts to pursue more academic training than you have.
Don’t be envious of people who are more educated than you are. Listen to them and learn from them. Don’t try to suggest negative things about them simply because you hate that you cannot speak with the great insight as they do, and don’t hate on them because people would rather listen to what they have to say than what you have to say. Do your best—that’s all you can do.
Your energy can be better invested in things that are going to make you better rather than on things that attempt to distract and tear down someone you envy. While it’s not good for young people to be controlled by an envious spirit, it’s even more ridiculous when you have people in their forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond being envious of people much younger than themselves. You would like to think that people in the aforementioned age range would be more mature and have more wisdom than this. If you’re in the aforementioned age range, you should be encouraging younger people to do well and to continue to do well—not discouraging them, tearing them down, and hating on them.
What can you do to respond to those who are envious of you and want to bring you down? While it may be difficult to not respond to the negative things your envious critics have to say, resist the temptation to respond to them. When you respond to them, you empower them by giving them the attention they want. You elevate them to a level they don’t deserve to be elevated. Continue to do the great work you’re doing and say nothing in response to them. Trust me, envious people will stop trying to attack, distract, discredit, and derail you when you stop giving them any attention. Defeat envious people with your continued success!
Again, keep doing the great work you’re doing. Don’t be foolish enough to let any envious person halt your progress.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
- Clean Out Your Closet: Jealousy (abriellev.wordpress.com)
- Impulse and Envy: When You Shouldn’t Buy That Car (psychcentral.com)
- Thou Shall Not Covet! Thou Shall Not Covet! (sophiekingham.wordpress.com)
- The (Real) 7 Deadly Sins of Email Marketing (aweber.com)
- Jealous & Envy (incontestable.wordpress.com)
- Envious Tongue (nickyinprogress.wordpress.com)
- Don’t Be Fooled by the Fakes (presidentialife.wordpress.com)
When you are afraid to be who you are and never show people the real you, there’s nothing special about you. Unfortunately, phony people try to pretend like they are living happy lives, and many of them want you to envy their false identities. What’s to envy about living a phony life? A life that’s not grounded in truth is a life that’s not worth living. Phony people never have an opportunity to rest because they always have to put on a performance for an audience—that has to be an exhausting way to live. What’s to envy about never being able to just relax and enjoy being yourself? You shouldn’t count on people not discovering who you really are inevitably.
Although many people are fooled by the falsehoods of phony people, there are many people who can see right through those falsehoods. What’s going to happen when there are moments that arrive in the future that don’t give you an opportunity to put on your falsehoods as quickly as one can put on makeup? When you live a life that is a lie, you are not qualified and prepared to live the type of life you are currently trying to live. When you are living a life that hides who you really are, the longer you live this type of life the deeper you move yourself into getting exposed in such an embarrassing way that you may never be able to recover from the shame associated with being exposed.
Far too often, individuals living a phony life assume that people who are living authentic lives are trying to expose them and hurt them intentionally. Phony people will often assume that things people say and write are about them. This results largely from the reality that phony people are never in a safe place, considering they always have to be concerned with being exposed. What phony people need to realize is they shouldn’t feel shame about the things that they are attempting to cover up. The things you are trying to conceal are things that are a part of you. Have enough love for yourself to love all of the parts of your comprehensive composition.
In no way does this article advocate for people to tell everything about themselves to everyone—that would be unwise. What this article does contend is you should not get up every morning having to plan out how you’re going to hide the aspects of your live you don’t want people to know about. Phony people have to think about how they’re going to hide who they really are each morning even before they are able to think about taking a shower and brushing their teeth. Now, why would someone want to be envious and jealous of this type of life that phony people live?
Dear phony people, you’re living a miserable life and no one wants to live a miserable life, so stop thinking that people are envious and jealous of you. Envious and jealous of you for what reason or reasons?
Even when it may seem that you can gain a competitive edge by not being who you really are, resist this temptation. Make up in your mind that you’re going to be yourself no matter what other people think. You will have an easier life when you decide to be who you naturally are. Live the life you want to live and not the life you feel you need to live to please other people. When you resolve to be who you are, say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, you are going to receive some serious criticism and resistance. Don’t let this criticism and resistance keep you from enjoying who you genuinely are. Live free. Be yourself.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison