Rekindling Old Flames
You should always be open to the possibility of reuniting with someone you’ve had a relationship with in the past. Now, in no way does this piece argue that you should always get back involved with your past loves, but it does contend that you should not close your mind to considering getting back together with any of your past loves. Of course, if you are currently married or in a relationship with someone right now, this article is not addressed to you. This article is focused on those who are single. Never close your mind to an opportunity to give someone a second chance, and never close your mind to giving yourself a second chance to be loved.
People can change. The conditions and circumstances present when you were together can and do change. When you were once with a past love, the person could have been too immature for you or you may not have been compatible at the time. However, we all know that time brings about a change. A possibility exists that you could be more compatible with the person now and he or she be more mature now.
Since you’ve been apart from the person, you may have grown too. You may have worked out some inner and outer things that make you a better fit for the person. Your views and evaluations of the person may have changed, considering time offers you an opportunity in all areas of your life to grow. Things that were such serious problems at the time you were with the person may be insignificant to you now.
Time may have afforded you an opportunity to focus on the value of a past relationship and caused you to realize that you missed the real meaning, purpose, and significance of the relationship because you were too focused on the wrong thing(s). After you’ve had some relationships with other people, you may have learned that your past loves are not as horrible as you once thought. Time may have provided you with an opportunity to realize that you’re still in love with someone and never have stopped loving them. Your pride may have prevented you from expressing your love to them, considering they may have hurt you so deeply in the past. Your pride can also cause you to try to bury your true feelings and love for a person. Don’t let your pride keep you from rekindling love.
Now, if you know that a person has not changed, and you know that you’re still not compatible with a person, then please don’t waste your time with going down that same failed road.
You can begin the discourse with a past love about the potential of getting back together by just communicating that you want to talk about the potential of reuniting. Don’t shy away from expressing how you really feel about the person right now, and never be afraid of discussing the positive and negative moments from your past relationship. If you are to have a successful relationship with the person this time, frank communication is mandatory. Many relationships fail because people are not willing to have open and frank communication with one another.
Again, this piece does not attempt to communicate that you should get back with your past loves just because you’re single, but it does assert that you should never close your mind to the possibility of considering rekindling a past relationship. True critical thinkers are always open to consider anything. This does not mean that you have to act on everything you consider—you shouldn’t.
You may never know what the power of renewing a love with a past love can do for you right now, especially if you completely close your mind to considering it.
Be open. Consider the possibilities.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Make Sure People Earn Their Degrees
Many people find ways to cut corners to obtain their degrees and graduate without the ability to meet the basic expectations of their employers. Even many students from the nation’s leading colleges and universities find ways to cut corners to obtain their degrees. What’s going to happen to you when you get hired and don’t have the slightest idea about how to do the job your degree implies you can do? It’s going to result in you having more than shame—you’re going to have a useless piece of paper that you call a degree.
You cannot get people to complete all or most of your assignments, especially the most difficult ones, and expect to be ready for a job in your degree field. If you lack the ability to perform beyond basic reading and writing tasks, you will inevitably be exposed. A time is going to arrive when your weaknesses in reading and writing is going to cause your performance in the workplace to be less than satisfactory.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with seeking assistance with things you don’t understand. Smart people understand that when they need help to seek it. This does not mean, however, that you should have to receive assistance with all major assignments. If you’re a person truly fit to be an undergraduate or graduate student, you should be able to execute the majority of the tasks assigned to you in your degree program.
If people have to complete, edit, and/or revise all of the work you do for school, are you really deserving of receiving a degree? Is it fair to potential employers for you to waste their time when you know you have not obtained the essential skills they are looking for when they hire someone with the degree you have or are pursuing? If you have ever submitted work that someone has completed for you, then you have not earned your degree. If you have ever purchased a paper from an online website and turned in that paper, then you have not earned your degree.
Colleges and universities have academic honesty policies for real reasons. Academic honesty policies help colleges and universities to ensure that they are awarding degrees that are worth more than the paper they are printed on. If you submit work that is you not your own, then you have evinced an unwillingness to do the work necessary to learn what your professors desired of you to satisfactorily complete the course requirements. If you have completed work that is not completely your own, then you have committed academic fraud. For those who commit academic fraud, your degree is in jeopardy of not being awarded to you or being taken away from you.
The American workplace needs to be populated with individuals who are truly ready for the challenging demands of the 21st century. If you have to cheat to obtain your degree, then you’re not ready for the 21st century workplace. The reality is college is not for everyone.
For those of us who worked hard and earned our degrees, we need to report academic fraud when we see it. People who commit academic fraud and pretend that they are ready to enter the workforce in their degree field do us all a great disservice. Too many important positions are being filled by people who are not prepared to execute the duties of these positions. Many of these positions are filled by those lacking the competency to perform even the most basic duties of the positions, thus putting the lives of innocent people in danger.
Many individuals who cheated their way through undergraduate and graduate study are too arrogant to seek and accept help from people who they work with to help them to overcome their lack of understanding of critical aspects of their job.
Why waste a significant amount of time in school by letting people do your work and graduate with no knowledge to perform the duties of jobs in your degree field?
Ensuring academic honesty is a matter of public safety.
We should not allow people who lack the competency to perform jobs, especially in positions where lives are at stake, to be eligible to be hired for those jobs. For example, we don’t want people who have committed academic fraud going into the healthcare industry where they can endanger the lives of so many people. Therefore, if you know people who are committing academic fraud and/or have committed academic fraud and they are going into the healthcare industry or another area where they could risk the lives of numerous Americans, you need to report them. By reporting them, you could not only help to save the lives of many Americans, you may just save your own life.
Let’s take a stand against those who cheat while in college because we will have to pay severely when these people get positions in fields where they can do us all great harm.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
That’s Why They Play the Game
You should never step on a court or field and think that you’ve already won a game before you play the game. Coaches should never think that their players are so great that it’s not possible for their team to lose against an opponent who is not expected to win. When you’re truly a great team, you prepare in practice for every team with the same level of intensity and with the goal of getting better and better. It’s okay to step on a court or field and feel confident that you’re going to win, but you shouldn’t think that you’ve already won. Upsets happen often because teams feel like they’ve already won before the game is played.
Coaches need to make sure they teach their teams how to win and lose with grace. When a team defeats you, don’t start trying to fight because you’re so upset that you lost. If you’re a high school or college student-athlete, your unacceptable behavior after a win or loss can cause you a chance to play at the next level because people can be turned off with how you act after a win or loss. You have to understand that there are going to be times when you win and times when you’re going to lose. Always maintain control of your attitude because your character matters at all times.
Demonstrating poor character after a win or loss can make people stop supporting you and make them not want to come see you play another game. People don’t come to see you play with poor character—they come to see you display your talent with sportsmanship.
If you’re an arrogant coach, then you need to understand that your arrogance is going to cost your team a loss inevitably. Arrogant coaches need to resign from their jobs because they don’t set the kind of example they need to for their team. Arrogant coaches make everything about themselves and often close their ears from listening to good advice from others who can help them to improve their coaching and team.
Never make sports your life. There are more important things in life than sports.
Play every game like it’s your last because it could very well be your last. With the severe injuries that can and do occur during games, you have to understand that you may not have another chance to display your talent on the court or field again. Therefore, make the best of every opportunity you have.
In order for a team to win a game, a team only needs to be the best team on that particular day. As the high school and college football season winds down to their final games, don’t forget that the teams expected to win may not win. You cannot go ahead and write a team off until the game is actually played. When you write a team off before the game is played, this is when you are setting yourself up for failure. Your opponents know when you take them for granted and they seize on the opportunities your arrogance affords them.
Don’t let your arrogance cost you a win!
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
There’s Nothing Special About Phony People
When you are afraid to be who you are and never show people the real you, there’s nothing special about you. Unfortunately, phony people try to pretend like they are living happy lives, and many of them want you to envy their false identities. What’s to envy about living a phony life? A life that’s not grounded in truth is a life that’s not worth living. Phony people never have an opportunity to rest because they always have to put on a performance for an audience—that has to be an exhausting way to live. What’s to envy about never being able to just relax and enjoy being yourself? You shouldn’t count on people not discovering who you really are inevitably.
Although many people are fooled by the falsehoods of phony people, there are many people who can see right through those falsehoods. What’s going to happen when there are moments that arrive in the future that don’t give you an opportunity to put on your falsehoods as quickly as one can put on makeup? When you live a life that is a lie, you are not qualified and prepared to live the type of life you are currently trying to live. When you are living a life that hides who you really are, the longer you live this type of life the deeper you move yourself into getting exposed in such an embarrassing way that you may never be able to recover from the shame associated with being exposed.
Far too often, individuals living a phony life assume that people who are living authentic lives are trying to expose them and hurt them intentionally. Phony people will often assume that things people say and write are about them. This results largely from the reality that phony people are never in a safe place, considering they always have to be concerned with being exposed. What phony people need to realize is they shouldn’t feel shame about the things that they are attempting to cover up. The things you are trying to conceal are things that are a part of you. Have enough love for yourself to love all of the parts of your comprehensive composition.
In no way does this article advocate for people to tell everything about themselves to everyone—that would be unwise. What this article does contend is you should not get up every morning having to plan out how you’re going to hide the aspects of your live you don’t want people to know about. Phony people have to think about how they’re going to hide who they really are each morning even before they are able to think about taking a shower and brushing their teeth. Now, why would someone want to be envious and jealous of this type of life that phony people live?
Dear phony people, you’re living a miserable life and no one wants to live a miserable life, so stop thinking that people are envious and jealous of you. Envious and jealous of you for what reason or reasons?
Even when it may seem that you can gain a competitive edge by not being who you really are, resist this temptation. Make up in your mind that you’re going to be yourself no matter what other people think. You will have an easier life when you decide to be who you naturally are. Live the life you want to live and not the life you feel you need to live to please other people. When you resolve to be who you are, say what you want to say, and do what you want to do, you are going to receive some serious criticism and resistance. Don’t let this criticism and resistance keep you from enjoying who you genuinely are. Live free. Be yourself.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Too Wired?
Although all of the fascinating marvels of technology have us often spellbound, we need to take some time to reflect critically about how much mental energy we consume while using sundry technologies. Many people say that they take breaks from their work by playing with their fancy cell phones and logging on to Facebook, but they really don’t think about how they are not giving their minds a chance to rest. With such a wide range of technologies available to us in the postmodern epoch, we need to give ourselves meaningful breaks away from these technologies each day.
Some people find it difficult to go ten minutes without looking at using their cell phones. While you may say that it’s not a big deal to spend a significant amount of time using various technological devices, this can begin to take a toll on your health over time. Whether you realize it or not, the human brain needs rest. Even when many people are sleeping and about to go to sleep, they have their televisions on and/or have laptops in bed with them.
Are you ever unplugged from technology for a meaningful period of time to rest your brain?
Many people will come home from a strenuous day of work to sign on to their Facebook and Twitter pages, but they do not think about how much mental energy they are investing in their activities on Facebook and Twitter. With all of the things that you do and can do on Facebook and Twitter, you can add additional stress to your brain by staying on social media sites for a long period of time each day after you end your work day.
Don’t allow our intriguing technologies to amplify the stress you already have. Of course, you may think that Facebook and Twitter are social media sites that do not have any stress attached to them. However, there is often so much drama on Facebook and Twitter and things that can upset you on those sites that you will find that you are even more stressed after logging on them than when you left work.
Take a moment to think about whether or not you waste too much time using various technologies each day. Is your cell phone so interesting that it causes you to neglect your responsibilities? It’s really not good for your health to have your cell phone up to your ear for long periods of time each day. Consider taking a break from some technological devices you engage with for a day and see if you are able to manage without these devices.
While social media sites have become widely popular, many people employ these sites to create false identities and to start unwarranted wars with other people. When you feel like those are the primary reasons you’re using technology, then it’s time for you to step away from technology for at least a short period of time and refocus your energy. You have to think about how trying to maintain false identities and fight wars through social media sites is not good for your health over time.
Are you too connected to technology?
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Read the Expiration Date: Some Friendships Need to End
Have you ever just become so exhausted with a friendship that you have to keep wondering why you are torturing yourself by remaining friends? If you are constantly having more unpleasant days in a friendship than positive days, then you need to consider allowing that friendship to end. Although all friendships will experience some conflicts, you should not have to have a serious battle with your friends every month. When you have to go to war with your friends every month, then you have all of the evidence you need to end this friendship. Seriously, why waste your time dealing with these too frequent burdens that your friends cause for you? If people are truly your friends, you’re going to gain more positive things from them than negative things.
When we give someone the title of “friend,” it seems like many of us begin to allow an individual to take advantage of us because we idolize the title too much instead of truly assessing the relationship with the person we have given the title. It does not matter how long or short a period of time you have been friends with a person he or she is not too great for you to not engage in a meaningful evaluation of his or her worth in your life. While it may seem easier to get rid of those friends you have known only a short period of time, it can be much more of a challenge for you to terminate friendships with people you have known longer. The truth is you just have to accept the reality that some friendships you have maintained for a long period of time might need to end for your (and their) benefit.
Although everyone needs a friend, you should not allow a friend to cause you constant pain. When a friend becomes more of a burden than a help for you, then you know that this person is no longer your friend.
If a person is truly your friend, you will be able to value his or her words. A true friend will not tell you lies just to get what he or she wants. A true friend is not deceitful. We have to learn that we cannot call everyone a friend. Moreover, we have to learn that we cannot keep maintaining old friendships that have really become burdens. When we try to avoid the truth about friendships that have turned into burdens, then we can overlook those friends who have really become our enemies.
Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. We are most vulnerable to being taken advantage of by those we call our friends. It is important for you to know that those who you call your friends can take advantage of you just like anyone else can. While this reality can be quite hurtful, this is the reason why we have to begin to engage in close assessments of our friendships and eliminate those friendships that are not producing positive benefits for us.
Please don’t allow the fact that you have been in a long friendship with someone to keep you from letting the friendship expire. You must face the truth that some long friendships need to be terminated because over the years things and people change, leading to those friendships not being based on what they originally were founded on. When you are conducting your close evaluation of your current friendships, think about the things that developed those friendships. Are those things still there or have they changed in some substantive way? By seriously wrestling with this question in your assessment of your friendships, you may realize that the reason that your friendships no longer seem like friendships is the things that started those friendships are no longer present or have changed in such a significant way.
Would you continue to take medicine for an illness that your doctor has informed you that you no longer have? Of course, you would not. Well, why continue friendships that no longer maintain the original things they were founded on?
Do you have friends that ask you to do something for them always but when you ask them to do something for you they always have an excuse about why they cannot do what you asked? You may have never considered this before, but these kinds of friends can lead you to having real health problems. These kinds of friends can consume too much of your physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental energy. It is not selfish to ask and expect your friends to do what you ask of them from time to time, especially those friends who always ask you to do something for them and you always do it for them.
Make a wise decision for yourself today and end those friendships that are not good for you.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Combating White Skepticism of Black Teachers Teaching Black Students
While most White people involved in the field of Education will say that they support improving Black male academic achievement, some of them become skeptical when Black teachers play a significant role in helping Black students to ameliorate their academic achievement. It’s natural for Black teachers to have a special passion for boosting the academic achievement of Black students. Because of the impact of slavery and Jim Crow and their residual effects, many Black people understand the need to passionately advocate for other Black people. Most Black teachers, if not all, want to provide all students with the highest quality education possible, regardless of their students’ race and ethnicity. Unfortunately, some White people situated in the education sector do not truly want to see Black students succeed.
Some White people in Education do not trust Black teachers to be able to increase the academic achievement of Black students without cheating for them. Now, most of the White people who cannot believe that Black students’ academic achievement can be increased without cheating for them will not directly tell the Black teachers that they think they cheated for their Black students. It is fallacious to think that just because a Black teacher teaches Black students he or she will cheat for those Black students. Now, you don’t hear a significant number of Black people running around saying that White teachers are cheating for White students just because they are White.
Some Whites’ skepticism toward the improved academic achievement of Black students that has resulted from the teaching of Black teachers dramatically intensifies when it is a Black male teacher helping Black male students to ameliorate their academic achievement. It seems like some Whites think that Black male teachers are not only going to cheat for Black male students, but also cheat so much for them that their grades end up being astonishingly higher than they have ever been. When Black male students are making tremendously high grades, it offers a serious counternarrative to the lies and negativity that some Whites like to propagate about Black male students and Black male academic achievement.
Black parents and White parents who are committed to the improved academic achievement of all students need to strengthen their support for Black male teachers who evince a zeal for enhancing the academic achievement of Black male students. When one truly understands that extensive research has proven that Black male students at every level of the educational pipeline academically underperform all of their peers, then it becomes reasonable to understand why a Black male teacher would develop a special passion for improving the academic achievement of Black male students. With such vexing academic underachievement at all levels of the educational pipeline, Black male students need everyone who is truly concerned about education in America to give them greater support and attention.
You cannot be seriously committed to education reform in America when you’re not devoted to the improvement of Black male academic achievement. We should view Black male academic underachievement as a national crisis. If White male students at every level of the educational pipeline were academically underperforming all of their peers, we would have been declared their academic problems a national crisis. For some reason, Black male students have not been privileged enough to have their academic struggles be promulgated as a national priority.
Although the Black community must make the improvement of Black male academic achievement a serious national priority, stronger efforts to involve more Whites in this effort is necessary. We have to think critically about ways to engage more Whites in the effort to ameliorate Black male academic achievement. Moreover, we have to think more deeply about how make strengthening Black male academic achievement a national priority for Black people. While some Whites will always remain skeptical of Black teachers working with Black male students to enhance their academic achievement, there must be larger efforts to support the continual efforts of Black teachers to improve Black male academic achievement.
Antonio Maurice Daniels
University of Wisconsin-Madison
